Jingle Hell, Jingle Hell, Shoppers In My Way...

Breathe a collective sigh of relief, everyone: Christmas is over.

Whew.

This holiday was a comparatively uneventful experience, and mostly unmarred by the drama of the outside world. It was a little refreshing, actually, to be able to enjoy the day. We're not big holiday people on the whole (we're hermits, collectively avoiding each other), but a little food was consumed, a few materialistic goodies were exchanged, and perhaps even a little conversation was had as well.

Even my broken down and decrepit desktop, The Beloved Vaio got into the spirit of things. Visited, it would seem, by the Ghost of Christmas Past, it started one very, very last time to relinquish the remainder of my iTunes library. It was a beautiful moment.

Despite all that though, I'm glad this holiday hurdle is over and done with. Just a few more months, and I can start envisioning warm weather again. Even *I'm* starting to get tired of sitting in front of one screen or another.

Yes, Non-Existent readers, that was Hell you just saw freezing over. :)

Have Your Cake and Eat It Too

Today I am filled with dread. It is the one day of the year where I reflect most poignantly about my life thus far, the various choices I've made, what has become of them, and where I am headed.

It's my birthday, and twenty-three feels like it crept up out of nowhere. I don't know that the number itself is what bothers me so much, but rather the startling speed of it's arrival. I remember back in my wee years, when birthdays still shown brightly in my mental calender-they took forever to get to. Eleven to twelve were eons apart, and my teen years looked an immeasurable distance away. Now I sit here, long past my twenty-first, having barely noticed as twenty-two whirled on by, and looking this new found age with an almost desperate need to cling to it. I'm not pining for days gone by, but I am not eager to move from where I am now. I always used to say that I could feel my youth slipping through my fingers (at what, seventeen?), and it's becoming uncomfortably more apparent.

I'm sure that this is a sentiment shared by many people of various ages and so forth. I admit that much of this stems from regret of things I haven't done, and things I wish had gone differently. The time for, and ability to change is not infinite, and I suppose that's what disconcerts me the most. I've been a static person for most of my life, and I am not quite who I wanted to be.

Worry not, eyebrow raisers, that hardly includes Dallas Cowboy cheerleader or day caregiver.

This is going to be a year for change, I think. I am not going to optimistically throw out lofty goals to practice for January, but I feel relatively certain that I will be able to look back at twenty-four and know that I did something out of the ordinary. We'll see, eh?

In the meantime, I'll raise my glass of Coke to my new copy of Grand Theft Auto IV, and the joys of digital vicarious living. Cheers.

Game-a-Thon

Disclaimer: Most of this was a post I made elsewhere, but I wanted to put it here.....just because. Don't whine, it's not like you were going to read this anyway. *smirk*

So far, November seems to be the Great Month of Gaming for me (Best Buy had a pretty slick deal going on-buy two, get one free, and I finally caved and bought some new games. Hence:

I'll start with Brutal Legend. I was looking forward to this game all year, and it totally delivered on all the preceding hype. I will be fair here, though, and say that if you buy this game, you are really buying it for the infusion of Jack Black into the digital realm. The gameplay is a little hit or miss, but satisfying overall. It's a unique blend of hack n' slash and RTS. On paper, that looks great, but RTS games are not ideal for something controller-based. The world is based around everything heavy metal. So much, in fact, that you'll hear some familiar voices-many a rockstar lent their time and talent (and honestly, I've never heard Ozzy so lucid. O_O) to the project. It's a must-buy game if you even remotely enjoy rock.

Rock Band 2.....there isn't overmuch to say about this game. It's essentially the same as the first game, but with some desperately added tweaks. What bothered me most about Rock Band 1 was the inability to use the same character for different instruments, and thankfully, they've fixed that this time around. They've also added in some single player challenges, as well as a more extensive band tour. If you bought the first, you simply must have the second.

And finally....Batman: Arkham Asylum. Now, I'm about a third(ish) of the way through this game, and already I can tell this is one of the best games that I will play all year. Assassin's Creed set the bar (for me) in terms of fluid free running and combat, and Batman leaps right over. It really feels like you are Batman, and the inclusion of his, and The Joker's voice from the Animated series just sells it all the more. Even beyond the gameplay, the game wins from an artistic standpoint. The atmosphere is perfect. Dark, creepy, and moody. Standing atop a building, and looking out at Gotham City on the horizon is a thing to behold. Finally, a pure superhero game that doesn't suck.

Upcoming games to be played include: Borderlands, Assassin's Creed 2, Dragon Age, and Grand Theft Auto 4.

Kon-ed

I went forth, I mingled, I got sick.

Figures.

It was totally worth it, by the way. Geek Kon was awesome-if not a bigger event than I expected. Lots of very strange people dressed up as very strange things. There was a lot of cross dressing. ......yeah.

Most shocking, was that this black-clad antisocialite hauled her overtired self up on stage for a round of Geek Jeopardy. The topics in that particular round were not favorable to me, but rest assured, at least I got the Invader Zim question right. B-)

Various other highlights included a Guitar Hero shredding The King of All Cosmos (from Katamari), a verbal assault on a really blonde chick that couldn't pronounce "Whedonverse", and an impromptu sword fight in the parking lot.

All in all, it was further proof that I really do need to get out more.





He's coming for you, in your sleep......

Hairbrained Insomnia and Masochistic Geekdom

Today I go forth to mingle with the geeky masses at a little oasis known as Geek Kon. Such a rare and worthy occasion for a social outing has warranted desperate measures. Namely, having just worked the last twelve and a half hours and blatantly ignoring the concept of sleep as I get ready to delve deep into the world of SNES, Steampunk, Sci-fi,and the like.

Caffeine, you are my one and only.

(Insert Golem voice) My preeeciousss.....

No One's Ark

I flooded the kitchen today.

Having spent the last half hour dumping out drawers and wielding a mop with a hurried vengeance, I've come to realize that I should not walk away from the sink when it's turned on.

Lesson learned.

Drop Shock Gamer?

Despite running the risk of my EliteBox spewing the disc out in a fit of hysteria, I picked up Halo: ODST yesterday. I'm also reasonably confident it was the first game that I've ever gone out of my way to grab at midnight on launch day.

It's slick, lemmie tell you.

To be perfectly honest, I'm not particularly fond of shooters, on the whole. Mostly because I'm terrible at them and the better part of those games are spent watching various "YOU DIED!" screens and muttering obscenities at an unsympathetic console. This is why co-op is an awesome feature. I can pretend to be the badass gamer that pwns at FPS, because I'm l337 n' stuff.

Yes, I can thank co-op for my coveted Legendary Playthrough achievement on Halo 3. (Just don't tell anyone. *smirk* )

So, imagine my initial horror and feeling of impending doom when, after beginning ODST with a buddy who actually DOES pwn at FPS.....the game lagged (I'm thoroughly convinced this was a plot against me). We would have to each play on our own.

Thus began the game, with moderate success at first, followed by an hour and a half of the inevitable Death By Brute over, and over, and over....and over again. The controller was nearly chucked, but victory was eventally mine, and with an over-inflated sense of accomplishment, I can honestly tell you that it's a damn good game. Soloing it is truly a solitary and eerie experience that feels vastly different from it's predecessor.

So BUY it.

In other oddball gaming news, I stumbled across this today. Essentially, it makes Fallout 3 a most poetic exercise in human brutality.

Pitch Auto-Corrected Pwn

I have a new favorite thing, and it should be your new favorite thing too:

Ye Olde Geek

Disclaimer: Prolific grammatical errors and poorly conceived sentences below. This is the result of trying to blog while trying not to fall asleep.

Morningtide greetings, Blogsosphere.

So, today I read an article concerning "Technology terms" that are out of date. Archaic, even. The list makes me look like a creaky Ancient One. I mean, is "surfing the web" really THAT out of date? Painfully dated "radical", or is it something that's tastefully retro like, "peachy"? Nay, I say to ye, Nonexistent Readers. Half the list is still viable for common conversation. Disagree, and I'll microblog a shaken cane in your general direction. Hrmph.

I will grant though, that a PDA should just be referred to as the iPhone. Those CrackBerries and the other would-be-but-aren'ts simply lack in worth to bear mention.

In other news, new Mass Effect DLC (is that headed to the resident home too???) was announced the other day. What a fine time for my EliteBox to call in sick.

Mutinous Machines

My world is falling apart, I tell you. Literally.



My dungeon is littered with technology that's been on the fritz these last couple of weeks. Skynet *cough*Google*cough* must have realized I was onto them...........

I'd take solace in a few hours in WoW, but that's not working for me either. Hrmph.

Scrambled Eggs and Chocobos

This has been the strangest day.

Normally, I wouldn't waste the time regaling the hollow Internet with a play-by-play of my entire day, but this is going to be an exception. Today was, I should venture to say, on par with any great mockumetary anywhere.

We begin:

I awaken early from a dream involving scrambled eggs and Chocobos. I check my email to find a message ironically regarding Final Fantasy music. Thus the wheels of strange begin to grind forward, and it is then I decide that today is the day that I MUST have the World of Warcraft battlechest. (This, nonexistant readers, is another blog post altogether.)

On the way to Best Buy, I venture upon a man riding a moped with a large metal garbage can attached to it's back end. Oscar the Grouch finally make the cut as sidekick?

I make my way to Best Buy, Gamestop and Wal-Mart, to find they are all sold out. And, in what can only be regarded as a severe lapse in sanity..........I call my trusty comic book store for help:

"Thank you for calling Kowabunga comics, how can I help you?"

"Yeah.........so I know you guys don't sell PC games, but the world is plotting against me and I REALLY need your help. I'm trying to get my hands on a copy of World of Warcraft that's sold out everywhere. Any ideas?"

And surprisingly unfazed by my brazen cold call for help on a distinctly non-comic issue, they fire up Firefox and manage to find a hole-in-the-wall store that had a couple copies on hand. With my victory assured, I thank them for their help, and claim my bounty.

Upon leaving, I look to the time as that of Lunch. Regarding the local Hardee's with much favor, I go to the drive-thru and place my order. It is here that my scarcely two hours worth of shuteye catch up with me momentarily, and I fall asleep for almost an entire minute. Yes. Alseep. In the drive-thru. Thankfully, the car ahead of me is fully loaded with living lard, and are still being served.

At the window, I look over to my left to see an older dude walking in the building wearing the exact same black Hard Rock San Francisco shirt as I.

Many hours later at the theatre (Harry Potter was AWESOME, by the way), the She-Beast and I order our usual frozen Icees. Upon their receipt, the cashier turns away in the exact same moment the She-Beast knocks her Icee over, sending half of it spewing over/on the cashier's back and all over the floor behind her. Oblivious to this sudden occurrence, the cashier turns around and tells us to "have a nice day" right as we hurriedly grab the remainder of Icees to leave. I can only imagine her horror in the moments that follow.

And finally, after the movie's conclusion, the She-Beast stops for her money-eating Nicotine at the local gas station. Parked next to us is a car full of Kurt Cobain clones (posers??) loudly, and very explicitly detailing their long and arduous wait to use the bathroom earlier in the day. The driver stands outside, leaning casually across the hood, reciting a long dialogue of this traumatizing experience. Two of the passengers chime in details and further commentary as he continues. We leave somewhere in the middle of, "And the damned door just wouldn't open, you know?"

Every word of this is true, I kid you not.

An interesting day. The lesson to be learned from all of this is:

When life gets you down, screw the Bat signal. Just call the comic book store.

The Lies of Simon and Garfunkel

Long day today, full of dusty, haggard things that were dragged out of the mental closet and into view.

The She-Beast-somewhat hypocritically-told me earlier that sometimes you just have to let the past go. Water under the bridge, and all that.

Well, the bridge is burnt, and the water is thick and toxic with ash.

Color me bitter, if you must.

I can't forgive, and I won't ever forget.

Twitter = PWN

It's been awhile, hasn't it?

Five months have passed since my last blog post, despite the fact that several epic things have gone down in this harried life of mine. My brother found out he had a son, my sister got knocked up, I bailed and headed to California on vacation....

.....I decided to sell my Truck of Doom.

Yeah.

Epic.

I can't be blamed for this, you know. It's all Twitter's (@Deathinflames) fault. Microblogging has killed desire to ACTUALLY blog. Really, if it can't be said in 140 characters, it probably isn't worth saying. That said, I also can't be blamed for being indulgent and rambling once in a blue moon about my unremarkable (abliet morbid) life. If social networking profiles are any indication, I'm not the only one who likes to selfishly put my brainwaves on display for the whole Internet to gawp at.

Honestly, there really isn't any reason to have both a Myspace and Facebook profile anymore. Myspace rips Facebook's ideas, Facebook thieves from Twitter, and pretty much everyone bows down to Google, which is taking steps in social networking as well.

Pretty soon we'll all be living on that digital "cloud" in the sky, won't we?

Yeah Skynet, I'm just waiting for you to happen.

I Can Fix It

Interesting day, today was.

The most harrowing time at work seems to be near the end of my shift, because that's when the shit tends to hit the veritable fan and all hope of ever going home seems lost. Exhibit A, 3:30 a.m. this morning. I manage to screw up something on my mutinous machine at work, and am stuck hunched over awkwardly armed with allen wrenches and a few four letter words, mentally chanting the mantra, "I can fix it" like a loon on repeat

And fix it I did, right as the clock struck the golden hour of 5. Take that, mechanical ineptitude that is my being.

Fast forward to a few hours ago.The Beast hauls me into the living room, determined to fix the Igloo dog house that the filthy mutt managed to utterly obliterate. It was a harsh reminder that I'm no longer four years old, because after having been goaded into crawling inside for some of the repair work, it was not the spacious Hideout of Doom that my younger self would have imagined. Indeed, even with the upper half practically falling off, it was decidedly cramped.

Goodbye childhood memories, you won't really be missed.

Heh. Anyway, I digress. Where were we, fixing said dog house? Yeah....

Now it stands, as a testament to pure redneck genius, fixed with duct tape, the top of a paint can, and a handful of combine bolts. I'd post a picture, but where would be the laziness in that?

I guess the moral of today is that yeah, you can fix it. Probably.

.....Unless you can't.