Another day of wasteful boredom for me to brood and ponder the ways of this pathetic world.
The Beast seems to be in complete denial about my wanting (read that as "needing") to get a job. I've mentioned I'm applying to be a Cart Herder at the nearest Pick N' Slave only to recieve a comment about how I should get more chores done.
Heh. And here I thought the real world was preparing to give me a swift kick in the ass.
Of course, this isn't going to stop me from doing it anyway. I have to say though, I nearly changed my mind about the whole ordeal after an innocent discussion with the She-Beast about the previously mentioned job turned into a stern lecture on how I need to set up a life insurance plan as soon as possible. Gee, and here I thought I was morbid....
Either that, or she's planning on killing me and pretending it was an accident just get money.
Somehow, I doubt that's the case, but either way, certainly not something I want to hear when getting my first, long overdue job. Associate it with death. Nice. Such motivation is staggering.
I'll just think of Best Buy and pretend it's all good.
See? I can feign blissful igorance too.....sort of...
Standng alone watching life speed by
Friday, January 28, 2005
It's been far too long since last I blogged. It's not that I forget, it's just that my life is so unspeakably mudane as of late. All of it has been mentioned at some time or another in my posts. There's my life for you, boringly repetitive.
Just to update on gym class: the teacher has been as sadistic as ever in making us run.
I've been sitting here the past six and a half hours, staring at my screen, and blaring music. During this whole time, all of perhaps two coherent thoughts passed through my dark mind.
Fridays, I blame you. (The day of course, not the restaurant for you morons out there.)
It can't be good when you've run out of things to think abou in your own mind. I never thought that having more free time would lead me to actually become more dull than I was before. The closest I come to even remote creativity is my blog titles. Meh. Whatever.
An interesting thing happened last night, well, really this morning. At about three in the morning I hear this blood curdling scream come from downstairs, so I came down to see the She-Beast standing in the middle of the living room. Heh.
Apparantly a barn cat had made it's way in the house, and ended up inadvertantly getting stepped on. Nice. I must say though, it wasn't quite worthy of the I'm-getting-murdered-by-evil-Lawn-Gnomes scream that echoed through the house.
But at least it was a moment of brief entertainment.
So there's my last few days in one very small proverbial nutshell. Marvel, or yawn. Be an overachiever and do both even.
Just to update on gym class: the teacher has been as sadistic as ever in making us run.
I've been sitting here the past six and a half hours, staring at my screen, and blaring music. During this whole time, all of perhaps two coherent thoughts passed through my dark mind.
Fridays, I blame you. (The day of course, not the restaurant for you morons out there.)
It can't be good when you've run out of things to think abou in your own mind. I never thought that having more free time would lead me to actually become more dull than I was before. The closest I come to even remote creativity is my blog titles. Meh. Whatever.
An interesting thing happened last night, well, really this morning. At about three in the morning I hear this blood curdling scream come from downstairs, so I came down to see the She-Beast standing in the middle of the living room. Heh.
Apparantly a barn cat had made it's way in the house, and ended up inadvertantly getting stepped on. Nice. I must say though, it wasn't quite worthy of the I'm-getting-murdered-by-evil-Lawn-Gnomes scream that echoed through the house.
But at least it was a moment of brief entertainment.
So there's my last few days in one very small proverbial nutshell. Marvel, or yawn. Be an overachiever and do both even.
Cyniscism: A pillar of truth amidst a sea of optimistic lies
Wednesday, January 26, 2005
Right now, I feel like some wounded war veteran with the way I'm limping after the unforgiving gym classes I've forced myself to endure the last couple of days.
I should tell you, my forte lies in sports that need strength, not speed. Running isn't my thing. I loathe it utterly.
Which is of course is why that's all my gym teacher had us do.
Four minutes sprinting around the gym followed by an hour worth of soccer. Meheheheheheh. I hate soccer as it is. Entirely boring. And for some strange reason, my goalkeeping ablilties seem to have left me just for this one horrific occassion.
Ah well.
I'm exhausted, to say the least, but nothing can deter me from blogging. Heh. You know, being obbessed and all that.
Had a rather humorous time in English these few days as well. Me and one other person of a somewhat dark nature have been having these rather morbid discussions with the intent on making the girl behind us hurl. We nearly succeeded.
I suppose the term "Saved by the Bell" just came blasting back from it's cancelled past.
I've come to wonder about the ever growing insanity of the school administration. In switching to a new schedule for the semester, I have a new lunch. Odd things take place there. Half the tables are empty during the hour (it's probably the smallest hour) and I sat down at one of them. One of the supervisors later came over and lectured me on how I couldn't sit there because the tables were "closed". Closed?
It's a goddamned lunch hour.
So basically they are telling me to cram myself into the other tables that are positively jam packed with slobby, obnoxious teenagers I'm sad to call my peers. Heh.
Fuck you.
Instead I've decided to see if I can't opt for a study hall instead. You can at least get a little peace and solitude there. I'll just eat the Glorious Greasy Cookie that I'm so fond of before school.
But no one really wants to read about my troubles at lunch do you? I know I don't.
Last night I thought I had accidently deleted my favorites list....it all it's 700+ glory. What did I do you probably aren't asking? Used some spyware removal programs and accidently deleted the cookie. Whoops. Luckily for me, it somehow restored itself (or I unkowningly did) today. All is nearly normal in my dark little world.
That said, exhaustion beckons me to collapse in front of the keyboard, and sleep while listening to my Internet Radio (launchcast rocks by the way). So I shall. Perhaps I'll muster up that ever elusive ambition to type up the actually intelligent blog post that I have in my head.
I should tell you, my forte lies in sports that need strength, not speed. Running isn't my thing. I loathe it utterly.
Which is of course is why that's all my gym teacher had us do.
Four minutes sprinting around the gym followed by an hour worth of soccer. Meheheheheheh. I hate soccer as it is. Entirely boring. And for some strange reason, my goalkeeping ablilties seem to have left me just for this one horrific occassion.
Ah well.
I'm exhausted, to say the least, but nothing can deter me from blogging. Heh. You know, being obbessed and all that.
Had a rather humorous time in English these few days as well. Me and one other person of a somewhat dark nature have been having these rather morbid discussions with the intent on making the girl behind us hurl. We nearly succeeded.
I suppose the term "Saved by the Bell" just came blasting back from it's cancelled past.
I've come to wonder about the ever growing insanity of the school administration. In switching to a new schedule for the semester, I have a new lunch. Odd things take place there. Half the tables are empty during the hour (it's probably the smallest hour) and I sat down at one of them. One of the supervisors later came over and lectured me on how I couldn't sit there because the tables were "closed". Closed?
It's a goddamned lunch hour.
So basically they are telling me to cram myself into the other tables that are positively jam packed with slobby, obnoxious teenagers I'm sad to call my peers. Heh.
Fuck you.
Instead I've decided to see if I can't opt for a study hall instead. You can at least get a little peace and solitude there. I'll just eat the Glorious Greasy Cookie that I'm so fond of before school.
But no one really wants to read about my troubles at lunch do you? I know I don't.
Last night I thought I had accidently deleted my favorites list....it all it's 700+ glory. What did I do you probably aren't asking? Used some spyware removal programs and accidently deleted the cookie. Whoops. Luckily for me, it somehow restored itself (or I unkowningly did) today. All is nearly normal in my dark little world.
That said, exhaustion beckons me to collapse in front of the keyboard, and sleep while listening to my Internet Radio (launchcast rocks by the way). So I shall. Perhaps I'll muster up that ever elusive ambition to type up the actually intelligent blog post that I have in my head.
Sitting in that dark corner trapped in my own mind
Sunday, January 23, 2005
If the rest of the family didn't know we were broke before, they sure as hell do now. Heh.
She-Beast, I commend you for spilling your heart out on a whim to the biggest gossip of the family. Not. Just don't come complaining to me when they all flock together with their smug, pretend sympathetic faces.
Another mediocre day that isn't particularly blogworthy. However one thing of deep amusement did happen:
My Mom and I went to the gas station today to pick up some cigarettes and the total came to around $25.00. (Frankly, I'm suprised The Bastardly Parental Units have the gall to waste money on that at the moment). My Mom went into her purse seemingly to grab her wallet when she pulled out this giant bag of quarters. So she stood there, counting out individual dollars worth in change, all the while snickering at me because she dragged me along inside.
I must say, it was an admirably sadistic moment on her part.
The Brat also came home early from her little weekend excursion, much to the displeasure of us all. Moreso because us having to go and pick her up from my Aunt's house when she was supposed to be dropped off. We don't have a particuarly large amount of money to spend on gas these days. And of course, confusion erupted whence my Grandmother called to mention that they might just drop her off at the house. Then, the complaints ensued, and my Mom ended up spilling her guts out over the phone.
Heh. Nice.
Really, it's great to get such frequent reminders of why I love being antisocial. Thank you, I'll just stay holed up in my room pretending that there is no such thing as an outside world. Only the dark place in my head, and the Internet.
So in conclusion, I end this evening with a well resounding "fuck you" to the real world. Why? You're almost as twisted as my world.
And that's just uncalled for. Heh.
She-Beast, I commend you for spilling your heart out on a whim to the biggest gossip of the family. Not. Just don't come complaining to me when they all flock together with their smug, pretend sympathetic faces.
Another mediocre day that isn't particularly blogworthy. However one thing of deep amusement did happen:
My Mom and I went to the gas station today to pick up some cigarettes and the total came to around $25.00. (Frankly, I'm suprised The Bastardly Parental Units have the gall to waste money on that at the moment). My Mom went into her purse seemingly to grab her wallet when she pulled out this giant bag of quarters. So she stood there, counting out individual dollars worth in change, all the while snickering at me because she dragged me along inside.
I must say, it was an admirably sadistic moment on her part.
The Brat also came home early from her little weekend excursion, much to the displeasure of us all. Moreso because us having to go and pick her up from my Aunt's house when she was supposed to be dropped off. We don't have a particuarly large amount of money to spend on gas these days. And of course, confusion erupted whence my Grandmother called to mention that they might just drop her off at the house. Then, the complaints ensued, and my Mom ended up spilling her guts out over the phone.
Heh. Nice.
Really, it's great to get such frequent reminders of why I love being antisocial. Thank you, I'll just stay holed up in my room pretending that there is no such thing as an outside world. Only the dark place in my head, and the Internet.
So in conclusion, I end this evening with a well resounding "fuck you" to the real world. Why? You're almost as twisted as my world.
And that's just uncalled for. Heh.
You weren't the one who stabbed me in the back, but you sure as hell sharpened the blade
Friday, January 21, 2005
An interesting month, January. A new Presidential term, a new semester, a new house......
Only half of that is in the category of "good", but I won't go into that.
The last day of exams today. I'm going to miss this. Heh. Nearly a whole week of three hour days.....that just rocks.
I've noticed something funny lately: I can't seem to keep my cynical, dark wit out of my assignments or tests. Like today, an answer on one of my exams involved the word "nuclear", only at the time I couldn't for the life of me, figure out how to spell it. Anyway, it ended up looking something like "nucluear" (I shudder to think that I actually wrote that down...). Suddenly, I realized in my head what that sounded like and I added a tiny sidenote: "Yeah, so I spell like George Bush talks....sue me...."
Couldn't resist.
I don't think the teacher will mind terribly..he's a Kerry fanatic anyway.
But I do that all the time. A snide comment here, a morbid observation there-like another part on my exam where I wrote "Unless you're having tea at the morgue" when referring to what happens when you have a living will and you're incapacitated or... *insert aforementioned commnet* (it makes sense when you read it...).
Maybe my overwhelming boredom is making me go a little more insane than usual. If it is, I'll just sit in my black straightjacket and wait for them to take me to my padded cell.
Just as long as it isn't white. Heheheheh.
Only half of that is in the category of "good", but I won't go into that.
The last day of exams today. I'm going to miss this. Heh. Nearly a whole week of three hour days.....that just rocks.
I've noticed something funny lately: I can't seem to keep my cynical, dark wit out of my assignments or tests. Like today, an answer on one of my exams involved the word "nuclear", only at the time I couldn't for the life of me, figure out how to spell it. Anyway, it ended up looking something like "nucluear" (I shudder to think that I actually wrote that down...). Suddenly, I realized in my head what that sounded like and I added a tiny sidenote: "Yeah, so I spell like George Bush talks....sue me...."
Couldn't resist.
I don't think the teacher will mind terribly..he's a Kerry fanatic anyway.
But I do that all the time. A snide comment here, a morbid observation there-like another part on my exam where I wrote "Unless you're having tea at the morgue" when referring to what happens when you have a living will and you're incapacitated or...
Maybe my overwhelming boredom is making me go a little more insane than usual. If it is, I'll just sit in my black straightjacket and wait for them to take me to my padded cell.
Just as long as it isn't white. Heheheheh.
Don't tell me I've forgotten...I never bothered to remember in the first place
Wednesday, January 19, 2005
Another day of blogging about mediocre things I'm afraid.
The dark place in my head seems to be going through some sort of hellish purgatory. Nothing of interest is allowed to enter, and all the dull thoughts are not allowed to leave. Truly it is mental torture in it's lesser stages.
Had exams at school today so I got out at around 10:40 a.m. You know, I almost wouldn't mind school if we were to get out that early everyday. Heh. Of course, it's not like I would learn much of anything if they ever implemented that schedule on a permanent basis. So I spent nearly eight hours online, just to go to the video store (I use the word tentatively) to find that the owner actually bought a couple new video games.
Everyone...bloggers, lurkers, haters....Marvel.
So I rented myself the first Tony Hawk's Underground game and proceeded to pound the hell out of my PS2 controllers.
This is what happens when the Inner Muse decides to go on strike.
Also saw a new TV show this evening: Point Pleasant. I expect it will be cancelled rather soon, but it is quite good. Faintly reminds me of that Steven King hospital show they had on ABC last year. Can't remember what it was though. Either way, good stuff. My only real concern is that they are going to make this into a horror version of the OC. Preppy soap opera only this time with a half demon. Heheheheh.
It's be an interesting thing to watch, even if they did though. Meheheheheheh.
What can I say? My contempt for the stereotypical prep runs deep.
The dark place in my head seems to be going through some sort of hellish purgatory. Nothing of interest is allowed to enter, and all the dull thoughts are not allowed to leave. Truly it is mental torture in it's lesser stages.
Had exams at school today so I got out at around 10:40 a.m. You know, I almost wouldn't mind school if we were to get out that early everyday. Heh. Of course, it's not like I would learn much of anything if they ever implemented that schedule on a permanent basis. So I spent nearly eight hours online, just to go to the video store (I use the word tentatively) to find that the owner actually bought a couple new video games.
Everyone...bloggers, lurkers, haters....Marvel.
So I rented myself the first Tony Hawk's Underground game and proceeded to pound the hell out of my PS2 controllers.
This is what happens when the Inner Muse decides to go on strike.
Also saw a new TV show this evening: Point Pleasant. I expect it will be cancelled rather soon, but it is quite good. Faintly reminds me of that Steven King hospital show they had on ABC last year. Can't remember what it was though. Either way, good stuff. My only real concern is that they are going to make this into a horror version of the OC. Preppy soap opera only this time with a half demon. Heheheheh.
It's be an interesting thing to watch, even if they did though. Meheheheheheh.
What can I say? My contempt for the stereotypical prep runs deep.
Silence is a virtue to which only the dead really aspire
Monday, January 17, 2005
I am entirely too exhausted to blog...yet here I am anyway.
Something today seems to be out of the usual ordinary (from my perspective of course) to me...and yet for some reason I can't think of what it is.
Not to immediately get off subject, but do you know how hard it is to sleep at the keyboard with the page making strange noises? Easy isn't quite the word I'd use.
Back to what I was saying:
Some sort of strange(r) thing happened today. Ah fuck it. Brain far too dead. At least I can look forward to finals this week in school. Easy as hell for me and I get out at 10:40 a.m. starting Wednesday. So..much..time..to..surf the...net..
Oh, I remember now. Heh. I applied for a job. How the hell did I manage to forget that minor piece of news? That in itself is odd enough....I'm hoping I can be a stockperson at the grocery store...either that or a cart pusher. Every fiber of my being detests the thought of being a cashier. But of course, I will do it for the money.
If I even get hired.
I'm not to concerned. I've seen some of the dimwits and dumbasses that they hire. I figure, if those people find a job, I'm sure I'll find one soon enough. And that is about as optimistic as I care to get.
Given that I can hardly type I'm yawning so much, I'm just going to say "fuck it" and crawl up to my lair.....
Something today seems to be out of the usual ordinary (from my perspective of course) to me...and yet for some reason I can't think of what it is.
Not to immediately get off subject, but do you know how hard it is to sleep at the keyboard with the page making strange noises? Easy isn't quite the word I'd use.
Back to what I was saying:
Some sort of strange(r) thing happened today. Ah fuck it. Brain far too dead. At least I can look forward to finals this week in school. Easy as hell for me and I get out at 10:40 a.m. starting Wednesday. So..much..time..to..surf the...net..
Oh, I remember now. Heh. I applied for a job. How the hell did I manage to forget that minor piece of news? That in itself is odd enough....I'm hoping I can be a stockperson at the grocery store...either that or a cart pusher. Every fiber of my being detests the thought of being a cashier. But of course, I will do it for the money.
If I even get hired.
I'm not to concerned. I've seen some of the dimwits and dumbasses that they hire. I figure, if those people find a job, I'm sure I'll find one soon enough. And that is about as optimistic as I care to get.
Given that I can hardly type I'm yawning so much, I'm just going to say "fuck it" and crawl up to my lair.....
These days there is no dark tunnel into Hell...just a really long line.
Saturday, January 15, 2005
Apparently, my blog made Google. Heh. Cool.
Strange...I've only been up for about six hours. I didn't get up until a staggering 11:30 a.m. Not to mention I went to bed rather early. Must not do that again. What sort of voluntary insomnaic does something like that? Heheheheheeh.
Now I'm stuck with this super groggy feeling. Ugh.
But anyway...
Had the urge to write again last night. The muse within decided to make a rare appearance for the first time in months. It'd be nice if I could scrounge up enough inspiration to write a fanfic or something, but unfortunately I think I'm going to have to settle for a sufficiently depressing poem.
Heh. I'll take what I can get.
Well, that was repetitive wasn't it? I could swear I said the same thing in a previous post. Deeply annoying. Then again, all things get repetitive eventually. TV shows, books, movies, and yes, even my blog. It's a thing that can't really be helped. Unless of course, I suddenly developed a keen interest in politics or something. Then I suppose I'd have alot to talk about.
Thanks, but no thanks. I'll stick to being boring and repetitive.
Did an odd thing today. Went ice skating in the field. Heh. Actually, it was more sliding around with shoes than it was skating. The whole thing iced over yesterday. Made for some gloriously painful falls. The Sadist and Massochist in me howled with laughter. The rest of me just swore profusely before heading in to grab a Coke.
Funny how you never see that shit on Kodac Moment commericals. Heheheh. Unrealistic lies....all of them.
Eh, who cares anyway? It's what American television is all about: shameless propaganda and stereotypes. I mean, all you have to do is sit through one TV show to fully grasp the idea. Commericals for cleaning products and healthy food for children is always showing the woman in the typical housewife fashion. Truck and sports car commercials: guys. The Sears Christmas commericals with Ty from Extreme Home Makeover were the perfect example:
Tools: A guys dream and of course, are the only ones mechanically inclined.
Kick ass toys: Boys must be the only gender amused by action figures and matchbox cars apparently
Women: Gee, cause I really want a new blender.....watch me as I oogle at it.
Girls: Let's just fawn over frilly pink sweaters while giggling like a bunch of high Hyenas...
Good grief. I'd take tools and toys over kitchen appliances and clothes anyday. Ugh. Not really the point, but it just shows that for all it's boasts about how liberal we are about equality and all that bullshit, this country is just one massive stereotypical hyporcrite.
Strange...I've only been up for about six hours. I didn't get up until a staggering 11:30 a.m. Not to mention I went to bed rather early. Must not do that again. What sort of voluntary insomnaic does something like that? Heheheheheeh.
Now I'm stuck with this super groggy feeling. Ugh.
But anyway...
Had the urge to write again last night. The muse within decided to make a rare appearance for the first time in months. It'd be nice if I could scrounge up enough inspiration to write a fanfic or something, but unfortunately I think I'm going to have to settle for a sufficiently depressing poem.
Heh. I'll take what I can get.
Well, that was repetitive wasn't it? I could swear I said the same thing in a previous post. Deeply annoying. Then again, all things get repetitive eventually. TV shows, books, movies, and yes, even my blog. It's a thing that can't really be helped. Unless of course, I suddenly developed a keen interest in politics or something. Then I suppose I'd have alot to talk about.
Thanks, but no thanks. I'll stick to being boring and repetitive.
Did an odd thing today. Went ice skating in the field. Heh. Actually, it was more sliding around with shoes than it was skating. The whole thing iced over yesterday. Made for some gloriously painful falls. The Sadist and Massochist in me howled with laughter. The rest of me just swore profusely before heading in to grab a Coke.
Funny how you never see that shit on Kodac Moment commericals. Heheheh. Unrealistic lies....all of them.
Eh, who cares anyway? It's what American television is all about: shameless propaganda and stereotypes. I mean, all you have to do is sit through one TV show to fully grasp the idea. Commericals for cleaning products and healthy food for children is always showing the woman in the typical housewife fashion. Truck and sports car commercials: guys. The Sears Christmas commericals with Ty from Extreme Home Makeover were the perfect example:
Tools: A guys dream and of course, are the only ones mechanically inclined.
Kick ass toys: Boys must be the only gender amused by action figures and matchbox cars apparently
Women: Gee, cause I really want a new blender.....watch me as I oogle at it.
Girls: Let's just fawn over frilly pink sweaters while giggling like a bunch of high Hyenas...
Good grief. I'd take tools and toys over kitchen appliances and clothes anyday. Ugh. Not really the point, but it just shows that for all it's boasts about how liberal we are about equality and all that bullshit, this country is just one massive stereotypical hyporcrite.
When night falls forever, that's when they'll realize it's really been there all along.
Wednesday, January 12, 2005
An odd day.
Woke up exhausted. Of course, that's because I had the strange urge to stay up ridiculously late watching a documentary on Martin Luther King Jr on PBS. Quite fascinating actually. Learned a more about the entire civil rights movement and such than they just barely touched upon in all my social studies classes.
Hey, even a dark one like me seeks enlightenment.
Had dance again in gym class today. Proved to be rather humorous actually as I didn't really bother to participate. (I went strangely unnoticed today...meheheheh.) They started doing this...hopping polka thing..I just stood in the shadow of the beachers.
Other dancing news that you don't really need to hear:
We were supposed to do this...crocodile (I'm almost positive I spelled that wrong) dance thing. The teacher demonstrated it. He clapped his hands and started rolling about on the floor. The rest of the class mimicked him. I was so horrified (and somewhat amused) that all I could do was stand there, gaping with my mouth open. I wasn't sure whether or not to laugh my ass off, or bolt for the door.
In retrospect, I should have done both-bolted for the door awhile laughing.
Also came home and slept today. Incredibly odd for me, as I loathe sleep. Though having my windows blocked out helped though.
Yes, that's right, I blocked my windows out.
It wasn't out of some urge to try and deny the fact that there is such a thing as daylight that I did such a thing. It was more out the "Yeah, it's there...just watch as I ignore it" attitude that I have. Heh. A little (or a lot) strange I admit, but hey, it's my lair.
Fuck off. Heh.
Another odd thing about today....
A Funeral Director came to speak in my Criminal Justice/Lifestyles class today. The first thing he asked was: "Is anybody here interested in becoming a Funeral Director?" Heh.
The whole class literally turned around and looked right at me.
It was one of the few moments where I broke from apathy and smirked. Really, thanks for the compliment. MUAHAHAHAHAA. But no, I have no desire to waste my life pumping dead bodies full of formaldahyde.
But it's nice to know I give off such a deathly vibe. Ahhh...
Woke up exhausted. Of course, that's because I had the strange urge to stay up ridiculously late watching a documentary on Martin Luther King Jr on PBS. Quite fascinating actually. Learned a more about the entire civil rights movement and such than they just barely touched upon in all my social studies classes.
Hey, even a dark one like me seeks enlightenment.
Had dance again in gym class today. Proved to be rather humorous actually as I didn't really bother to participate. (I went strangely unnoticed today...meheheheh.) They started doing this...hopping polka thing..I just stood in the shadow of the beachers.
Other dancing news that you don't really need to hear:
We were supposed to do this...crocodile (I'm almost positive I spelled that wrong) dance thing. The teacher demonstrated it. He clapped his hands and started rolling about on the floor. The rest of the class mimicked him. I was so horrified (and somewhat amused) that all I could do was stand there, gaping with my mouth open. I wasn't sure whether or not to laugh my ass off, or bolt for the door.
In retrospect, I should have done both-bolted for the door awhile laughing.
Also came home and slept today. Incredibly odd for me, as I loathe sleep. Though having my windows blocked out helped though.
Yes, that's right, I blocked my windows out.
It wasn't out of some urge to try and deny the fact that there is such a thing as daylight that I did such a thing. It was more out the "Yeah, it's there...just watch as I ignore it" attitude that I have. Heh. A little (or a lot) strange I admit, but hey, it's my lair.
Fuck off. Heh.
Another odd thing about today....
A Funeral Director came to speak in my Criminal Justice/Lifestyles class today. The first thing he asked was: "Is anybody here interested in becoming a Funeral Director?" Heh.
The whole class literally turned around and looked right at me.
It was one of the few moments where I broke from apathy and smirked. Really, thanks for the compliment. MUAHAHAHAHAA. But no, I have no desire to waste my life pumping dead bodies full of formaldahyde.
But it's nice to know I give off such a deathly vibe. Ahhh...
Assumptions are the very roots of arrogance
Tuesday, January 11, 2005
Didn't feel like going to school today....so I didn't.
My house is absolutely freezing right now. The heat kicked out about two hours ago, and the Beast just now decided to haul his ass out to try and fix it. Heh. Not that I'm going to complain too much about that....it's not like i can fix it myself. Meheheheheheh. I'm not as mechanically inclined as I'd like to be.
In any case, because it's cold, the She Beast has relieved me of any work I'd otherwise have to be doing around the house. Erm. A bit overkill in my opinion, but hey, it works to my advantage this time.
So now I blog.
Had an absolute hell of migrane yesterday. So much of one, that I in fact, didn't even blog. Was online for about an hour, just staring at the screen before I went and collapsed in my lair. Yesterday in general, was hell actually-comparibly speaking. Three words:
Professional. Dance. Instructor.
Yes, that's right. Professional dance instructor. They had one come in to teach for a day in our gym class.
Thankfully, I happened to be looking especially menacing that day. Three chains, fishnets, a sort of Crow-like makeup thing going on (Heh...not exactly...but the only way I can describe it.). Even the teacher backed away from me. One glorious highlight in my otherwise...less than joyous day.
And then of course, I managed to break my CD player on the way home. People who know me personally know that I hail my CD player. My Sony is quite possibly the best CD player on this planet...and it broke. My cursing was so loud, half the people in earshot stared at me.
Actually, I'm in slight denial. I keep telling myself that it will work perfectly fine if I just try to turn it on again.
I don't even know what caused it to stop working. I just shut it off to switch CDs and it just wouldn't read the disk anymore. Heh. I blame Monday. Why? Because Mondays are the day in which all bad things usually happen.
In any case, that was yesterday in one very bland nutshell. Today will most likely be just as bland, but hey, life....that's it.
More profound things to come tomorrow (I think). Today, just take a moment, and bask in how wasteful existence can be.
My house is absolutely freezing right now. The heat kicked out about two hours ago, and the Beast just now decided to haul his ass out to try and fix it. Heh. Not that I'm going to complain too much about that....it's not like i can fix it myself. Meheheheheheh. I'm not as mechanically inclined as I'd like to be.
In any case, because it's cold, the She Beast has relieved me of any work I'd otherwise have to be doing around the house. Erm. A bit overkill in my opinion, but hey, it works to my advantage this time.
So now I blog.
Had an absolute hell of migrane yesterday. So much of one, that I in fact, didn't even blog. Was online for about an hour, just staring at the screen before I went and collapsed in my lair. Yesterday in general, was hell actually-comparibly speaking. Three words:
Professional. Dance. Instructor.
Yes, that's right. Professional dance instructor. They had one come in to teach for a day in our gym class.
Thankfully, I happened to be looking especially menacing that day. Three chains, fishnets, a sort of Crow-like makeup thing going on (Heh...not exactly...but the only way I can describe it.). Even the teacher backed away from me. One glorious highlight in my otherwise...less than joyous day.
And then of course, I managed to break my CD player on the way home. People who know me personally know that I hail my CD player. My Sony is quite possibly the best CD player on this planet...and it broke. My cursing was so loud, half the people in earshot stared at me.
Actually, I'm in slight denial. I keep telling myself that it will work perfectly fine if I just try to turn it on again.
I don't even know what caused it to stop working. I just shut it off to switch CDs and it just wouldn't read the disk anymore. Heh. I blame Monday. Why? Because Mondays are the day in which all bad things usually happen.
In any case, that was yesterday in one very bland nutshell. Today will most likely be just as bland, but hey, life....that's it.
More profound things to come tomorrow (I think). Today, just take a moment, and bask in how wasteful existence can be.
I'm only home when I see the padded walls of my cell.
Sunday, January 09, 2005
After two days of toiling away at my computer, staring at countless error messages and "Page Cannot Be Displayed" signs, I've finally got my DSL to work again.
Yes, it somehow was uninstalled Friday. How, I have no idea (unless the She-Beast did something accidently and won't tell me) how it happened, but the problem is fixed.
So of course I must waste the bandwidth of Blogger posting about it.
But suprisingly, that was not the worst part of what was this weekend. Embarrassment was reached on epic levels. Shame and all that shattered ego stuff. What exactly could have caused such a thing you probably aren't asking?
My Aunt stopping by with groceries and a grocery store gift card did.
Heh. It seems my Mom accidently blabbed a bit too much about the fact that we are entirely broke. So when my Aunt opened her car door, I could practically feel the words "Charity case" burning onto my forehead. So perhaps it was needed, but I think I really do speak for everyone when I say we'd rather starve.
But of course, being the "polite" people they are, the Bastardly Parental Units made ME go out and greet her. Gee, thank you so much.
I'll remember this when you're eighty. Meheheheheh.
I suppose such a thought would baffle many people. Indeed, she was just trying to help, but of course people with money fail to grasp the fact that not everyone wants help. A whole self-reliance sort of thing. That would be the reason that many families (like mine) aren't on welfare, recieving free lunches, or grabbing anything in sight at the food pantry.
Heh. No thanks. I'll stick to soda and Ramen noodles.
At this particular moment, I ask myself why I'm bothering to blog about this. Simply, I suppose, the answer is, I'm bored. Boredom drives my very being. Of course, that would explain why generally this blog is practically unreadable.
But hey, I'm slightly amused, so what the hell,
On with the Blogging.
Yes, it somehow was uninstalled Friday. How, I have no idea (unless the She-Beast did something accidently and won't tell me) how it happened, but the problem is fixed.
So of course I must waste the bandwidth of Blogger posting about it.
But suprisingly, that was not the worst part of what was this weekend. Embarrassment was reached on epic levels. Shame and all that shattered ego stuff. What exactly could have caused such a thing you probably aren't asking?
My Aunt stopping by with groceries and a grocery store gift card did.
Heh. It seems my Mom accidently blabbed a bit too much about the fact that we are entirely broke. So when my Aunt opened her car door, I could practically feel the words "Charity case" burning onto my forehead. So perhaps it was needed, but I think I really do speak for everyone when I say we'd rather starve.
But of course, being the "polite" people they are, the Bastardly Parental Units made ME go out and greet her. Gee, thank you so much.
I'll remember this when you're eighty. Meheheheheh.
I suppose such a thought would baffle many people. Indeed, she was just trying to help, but of course people with money fail to grasp the fact that not everyone wants help. A whole self-reliance sort of thing. That would be the reason that many families (like mine) aren't on welfare, recieving free lunches, or grabbing anything in sight at the food pantry.
Heh. No thanks. I'll stick to soda and Ramen noodles.
At this particular moment, I ask myself why I'm bothering to blog about this. Simply, I suppose, the answer is, I'm bored. Boredom drives my very being. Of course, that would explain why generally this blog is practically unreadable.
But hey, I'm slightly amused, so what the hell,
On with the Blogging.
Don't hate: loathe
Friday, January 07, 2005
I'm feeling metaphorical tonight, thanks to OTEP's blog. (Gee, thanks O One I Hail...meheeh). But before I go into a long rant about the world being a vast labyrinth covered in blood, as the gargoyles of perception scream on...I'll stop.
Heh. That actually sounded pretty cool. I'm nearly pondering using it in something...but yeah..
Today is Friday, strangely enough. It feels like a Wednesday to me. I blame the snow day we had yesterday...not that I'm complaining or anything like that. A day off school is always well appreciated.
Even though I planned on staying home anyway....
Supposedly, we get the Blazer back tomorrow. Not sure how great I'm going to feel about driving that considering it was salvaged dispite the fact that it was almost completely totaled. But, I'm looking forward to hopefully getting a job now. Money is certainly the issue these days. Of course, even if it wasn't, I never like taking free money from people (like my parents).
Well, maybe once and awhile.
So as the weekend looms ever closer (seriously repressing the urge to use metaphors here), I must ponder what I shall do. On the one hand, I could do some much needed work around the house, and on the other, I could waste my life sitting in front of the computer reading fanfic and blogging. What to do....what do do...?
Waste my life sitting in front of the computer of course.
I can't stand housework. To much of the "It's a girl job" stereotype, and everyone (except perhaps anyone reading this) knows my guy-like ego. I'd rather be busting ass shoveling snow or something. Pity the neighbor is practically the reincarnation of Ned Flanders (albiet much less religious, and far cooler) and plows our incredibly long driveway for us.
Okay, now that I've managed to go off whatever subject I was on, I've completely lost my train of thought. So, barring any apocolypses or alien invasions, I'll post tomorrow- perhaps something a bit more worthy of blogging.
Until then, don't live long and prosper. (Tacky, but I couldn't help it...the Trekkie in me compelled me)
Heh. That actually sounded pretty cool. I'm nearly pondering using it in something...but yeah..
Today is Friday, strangely enough. It feels like a Wednesday to me. I blame the snow day we had yesterday...not that I'm complaining or anything like that. A day off school is always well appreciated.
Even though I planned on staying home anyway....
Supposedly, we get the Blazer back tomorrow. Not sure how great I'm going to feel about driving that considering it was salvaged dispite the fact that it was almost completely totaled. But, I'm looking forward to hopefully getting a job now. Money is certainly the issue these days. Of course, even if it wasn't, I never like taking free money from people (like my parents).
Well, maybe once and awhile.
So as the weekend looms ever closer (seriously repressing the urge to use metaphors here), I must ponder what I shall do. On the one hand, I could do some much needed work around the house, and on the other, I could waste my life sitting in front of the computer reading fanfic and blogging. What to do....what do do...?
Waste my life sitting in front of the computer of course.
I can't stand housework. To much of the "It's a girl job" stereotype, and everyone (except perhaps anyone reading this) knows my guy-like ego. I'd rather be busting ass shoveling snow or something. Pity the neighbor is practically the reincarnation of Ned Flanders (albiet much less religious, and far cooler) and plows our incredibly long driveway for us.
Okay, now that I've managed to go off whatever subject I was on, I've completely lost my train of thought. So, barring any apocolypses or alien invasions, I'll post tomorrow- perhaps something a bit more worthy of blogging.
Until then, don't live long and prosper. (Tacky, but I couldn't help it...the Trekkie in me compelled me)
Don't be shy, be antisocial.
Wednesday, January 05, 2005
It's odd, my ambition to do anything has truly left me. Even surfing the net lately has lost it's pull.....heh...almost anyway. Don't really know what it is. Boredom on whole new levels most likely. Sick of the same old thing. I can't tell you how strange it is to be sick of your thoughts, even though you entirely agree with them (obviously). So what does this lead me to do?
Blog about it of course.
Suprisingly, I did manage to write something the other day. It was a bit on the usual mediocre side, but I'm not going to be too picky as I haven't been able to write anything in weeks.
A most uneventful day today, aside from the horrors of dancing in gym class. It gets worse every day. I'm nearly to the point of walking out. A ridiculous fine line if I do say so myself.
And oh, do I.
Had to loan The Bastardly Parental Units the last of my money for She-Beasts perscriptions. All because apparently someone fucked up at the surveyer's and now for some reason, the closing on our property was pushed back. Of course, we needed the cash. Gee, thank you...let's just see how close we can come to having an empty fridge and no money to put any into it. Heh. Oh well.
Life's a bitch. Then again, so is everything else.
Blog about it of course.
Suprisingly, I did manage to write something the other day. It was a bit on the usual mediocre side, but I'm not going to be too picky as I haven't been able to write anything in weeks.
A most uneventful day today, aside from the horrors of dancing in gym class. It gets worse every day. I'm nearly to the point of walking out. A ridiculous fine line if I do say so myself.
And oh, do I.
Had to loan The Bastardly Parental Units the last of my money for She-Beasts perscriptions. All because apparently someone fucked up at the surveyer's and now for some reason, the closing on our property was pushed back. Of course, we needed the cash. Gee, thank you...let's just see how close we can come to having an empty fridge and no money to put any into it. Heh. Oh well.
Life's a bitch. Then again, so is everything else.
Reality shows are the Assassin of good television
Tuesday, January 04, 2005
The plan failed.
I couldn't get out of it, and had to participate in gym class today. Which means....dancing.
Never have I loathed something so much. Humiliation at it's absolute finest. The worst part was personal contact though...meheheeh...I'm definetly a "don't touch me" kind of person. I can't STAND being near people, and yeah...that's just beyond too close. Heh. Even went so far as to feel sick afterwords from the thought of my personal bubble being so rudely popped.
Damn, can't a person lurk ALONE in peace these days?
Heh...obviously not.
Other things of vauge note happened today, but I'll blog about it tomorrow. I haven't the energy to finish posting. But death itself couldn't keep me from ranting about Gym Class Hell.
Life is like a game of chess, we're all pawns and someone has to lose.
Monday, January 03, 2005
Fucking awesome.
That is my new phrase. Well, not really new, but I've been saying it everytime something worthy of some note comes to my attention. It's the most annoying thing. I say it even without intending to. Even my very brain now immediately reacts to something cool with "Fucking awesome."
I suppose I can take some consolation in the fact that at least it's not a Paris Hilton "That's hot" line. Ugh.
And that alone is nearly enough to shut my brain up and come up with something different.
Today I returned to school. While I loathed being there, it was at least a refreshing sort of boredom. Gym class amused me at least. Of course, tomorrow will be an entirely new hell in gym. We start....
The dance unit.
Somehow-I don't know specifically just yet-I will get out of this. Nothing will ever compel me to willingly be near people...let alone dance with them. Whatever moron decided that people need to learn to dance in gym class needs to burn....very...slowly.
All while I stand in the background, lighter and gas can in hand, laughing manically.
That is my new phrase. Well, not really new, but I've been saying it everytime something worthy of some note comes to my attention. It's the most annoying thing. I say it even without intending to. Even my very brain now immediately reacts to something cool with "Fucking awesome."
I suppose I can take some consolation in the fact that at least it's not a Paris Hilton "That's hot" line. Ugh.
And that alone is nearly enough to shut my brain up and come up with something different.
Today I returned to school. While I loathed being there, it was at least a refreshing sort of boredom. Gym class amused me at least. Of course, tomorrow will be an entirely new hell in gym. We start....
The dance unit.
Somehow-I don't know specifically just yet-I will get out of this. Nothing will ever compel me to willingly be near people...let alone dance with them. Whatever moron decided that people need to learn to dance in gym class needs to burn....very...slowly.
All while I stand in the background, lighter and gas can in hand, laughing manically.
Suffocating in the noose of life
Sunday, January 02, 2005
School starts tomorrow.
A hell that I'm almost willing to walk into at this point. So completely tired of looking at the same walls every day. I really do feel like I'm in a cell in a psych. ward some days.
Meheh. I even have a straightjacket.
But I suppose that's besides the point. It does however, mark a critical time in the school year: the halfway point. Semester exams are in about two weeks and after that, it should theoretically be a somewhat smooth coast to graduation. And then I get to crash and burn in the real world.
See yesterday's blog post for more information.
I can't believe how warm it's been outside lately. Now, I'm not one to normally comment on the weather, but given as how it's been around 60 F. for the last two weeks when every other year has been below zero with a life threatening windchill, it gives cause for some consideration.
It's most convienient for my lurking purposes. There's nothing more annoying than to go outside for a good round of lurking and find yourself being blasted with freezing cold air. Only deep obbession drives me to go outside anyway, only to come back in completely numb.
But no one really needs to hear about that do they?
I'd say something gloriously profound now, and then proceed to go into an in depth introspection into American society and culture, but franky, I don't have the ambition. The only profound thing anyway is going to get out of me today, is the titles of my blog posts.
Heh.
Something rather amusing happened to me today on the way back from the grocery store this morning. For a bit of background information, I'll mention that every time my Mom has ever put her seat belt on, she has gotten into a car accident minutes later. So when I'm driving, without realizing what she was doing, she suddenly put her seat belt on, and asked everyone if they were wearing theirs. Kinda went like this:
She-Beast: *clicks on her seat belt* Everybody got their seat belts on?
Me: *smirking* Gee Mom, isn't that just forboding.
She-Beast: What?
Me: Remember what you were saying about you and seat belts?
She-Beast: *look of absloute horror* OH GOD! *whips off her seat belts and proceeds to brace herself in the chair and the Jesus Bar for the entire ride home.*
Needless to say, I took a bit more humor out of than I should have, but it really was rather funny. Even funnier was the "What the fuck?" look on The Brat's face the whole ride home.
Ah, a day in the life of me. Entertaining in so many stupid little ways.
A hell that I'm almost willing to walk into at this point. So completely tired of looking at the same walls every day. I really do feel like I'm in a cell in a psych. ward some days.
Meheh. I even have a straightjacket.
But I suppose that's besides the point. It does however, mark a critical time in the school year: the halfway point. Semester exams are in about two weeks and after that, it should theoretically be a somewhat smooth coast to graduation. And then I get to crash and burn in the real world.
See yesterday's blog post for more information.
I can't believe how warm it's been outside lately. Now, I'm not one to normally comment on the weather, but given as how it's been around 60 F. for the last two weeks when every other year has been below zero with a life threatening windchill, it gives cause for some consideration.
It's most convienient for my lurking purposes. There's nothing more annoying than to go outside for a good round of lurking and find yourself being blasted with freezing cold air. Only deep obbession drives me to go outside anyway, only to come back in completely numb.
But no one really needs to hear about that do they?
I'd say something gloriously profound now, and then proceed to go into an in depth introspection into American society and culture, but franky, I don't have the ambition. The only profound thing anyway is going to get out of me today, is the titles of my blog posts.
Heh.
Something rather amusing happened to me today on the way back from the grocery store this morning. For a bit of background information, I'll mention that every time my Mom has ever put her seat belt on, she has gotten into a car accident minutes later. So when I'm driving, without realizing what she was doing, she suddenly put her seat belt on, and asked everyone if they were wearing theirs. Kinda went like this:
She-Beast: *clicks on her seat belt* Everybody got their seat belts on?
Me: *smirking* Gee Mom, isn't that just forboding.
She-Beast: What?
Me: Remember what you were saying about you and seat belts?
She-Beast: *look of absloute horror* OH GOD! *whips off her seat belts and proceeds to brace herself in the chair and the Jesus Bar for the entire ride home.*
Needless to say, I took a bit more humor out of than I should have, but it really was rather funny. Even funnier was the "What the fuck?" look on The Brat's face the whole ride home.
Ah, a day in the life of me. Entertaining in so many stupid little ways.
Just because you care doesn't mean I have to
Saturday, January 01, 2005
I am in a strange mood today.
It's somewhere in the realm of numb/exahaustedly awake/inspired, and I haven't a clue as to what caused it. Actually, it's how I felt around when I first created this blog. More recently I was.....more dead than usual. But today the writer's block seems to have disappeared for the time being. What mediocre words that I will spew forth remains to be seen. (Is it just me, or did that cause a gross mental picture?).
In the meantime I'm just going to blog.
But what about?
Heh. You see, just because inspiration seems to have come knocking, it doesn't make my day any more interesting. I hate to say it, but I almost can't wait for this break to be over. At least in school I can slack of with some variety.
Which brings up the question, what do I do once slacking in school is no longer an option?
I'm graduating this year and I still haven't the foggiest idea as to what I want to do for a career. Supposedly, the She Beast wants me to start a business with her. Heh. Gee, THAT sounds exciting. Let me just dye my hair grey now so I can feel a little less youthful.
Like most parents, mine want me to go to a college of some sort. The most I'm evening thinking of considering is tech college. Mostly because it doesn't take long, and frankly, I couldn't get into anything else (too many years of slacking I daresay). I try not to roll my eyes too much during lectures of how I should further education when both my parents dropped out of High School. At least the She-Beast had a legitamate reason, and got her GED. The Beast however, didn't make it past sophmore year because he just felt like he didn't need to finish it.
The motivation is nearly overwhelming.
Meh. I'm sure I'll figure it out sooner or later.
......later more likely.
It's somewhere in the realm of numb/exahaustedly awake/inspired, and I haven't a clue as to what caused it. Actually, it's how I felt around when I first created this blog. More recently I was.....more dead than usual. But today the writer's block seems to have disappeared for the time being. What mediocre words that I will spew forth remains to be seen. (Is it just me, or did that cause a gross mental picture?).
In the meantime I'm just going to blog.
But what about?
Heh. You see, just because inspiration seems to have come knocking, it doesn't make my day any more interesting. I hate to say it, but I almost can't wait for this break to be over. At least in school I can slack of with some variety.
Which brings up the question, what do I do once slacking in school is no longer an option?
I'm graduating this year and I still haven't the foggiest idea as to what I want to do for a career. Supposedly, the She Beast wants me to start a business with her. Heh. Gee, THAT sounds exciting. Let me just dye my hair grey now so I can feel a little less youthful.
Like most parents, mine want me to go to a college of some sort. The most I'm evening thinking of considering is tech college. Mostly because it doesn't take long, and frankly, I couldn't get into anything else (too many years of slacking I daresay). I try not to roll my eyes too much during lectures of how I should further education when both my parents dropped out of High School. At least the She-Beast had a legitamate reason, and got her GED. The Beast however, didn't make it past sophmore year because he just felt like he didn't need to finish it.
The motivation is nearly overwhelming.
Meh. I'm sure I'll figure it out sooner or later.
......later more likely.
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