Dead Space(s)

Moving week!

Friday heralds the relocation to Dungeon 2.0. In the interim, whilst most of my crap is sitting in little coffins of recycled cardboard, I've been occupying the hours with Dead Space. It's one of the several games that have been sitting on the Unplayed Shelf because of my broken EliteBox. Kinslayer has been humming along like a green-cyclop'd dream, and I've found that I rather enjoy the dismembering of alien monsters. I didn't dig the control scheme much at first-it deviates from the shooters I'm used to, but it's grown on me. Like Postulio from Invader Zim.

POSTUUUUULIO!!!

(Nerd reference can be found here.)

On the topic of nerd references, and the lingering thought of my relocation, I've found a few things that would go perfectly in the new place. Some are more likely to actually find themselves there than others:

* A Computer Board coffee table. Really, a perfect accent to the home of any T-1000.

* Best. Pizza. Cutter. Ever. Make it so!

* Biker couch. Or, seating-for-expensive-bastards.

* l337 NES bedspread.

* Voodoo knife holder. (I actually bought this. Resistance was futile. O_o )

Ah, to be a nerd.

Until later, non-existent readers. Live long and prosper. Or something.

Buzz Kill

I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm totally ready for the zombie apocalypse:

I swear I'm not a redneck.

In other news, I got an apartment (holy crap?!?)! I won't lie, I'm pretty stoked, but more on that another day. For now, let us all just gaze lovingly at the Jonsered riding shotgun, and wait for the undead to rise.

My Soul For A Shotgun

I'm plagiarizing myself and ripping a small bit of this from a forum post I made earlier. Potentially, that's lame of me. Potentially, I'm a lazy wench, and don't care. *smirk*

Because zombies seem to be a theme with me lately, I've just finished the first volume/trade of The Walking Dead by Robert Kirkman. I really can't say enough about this book. It was fantastic, and works as a standalone if you don't want to read the other 12 + volumes in the series. It follows a cop named Rick, who wakes up from a coma in a hospital, alone, only to discover that zombies are afoot. The story focuses on his struggle to find survivors, and the psychological toll taken in the midst of losing everything.

You should also give this a serious look for the art. The artist, Tony Moore, really went to town here. Each panel is mesmerizing to look at, and his knack for conveying subtle emotion right along with the innards of a decaying corpse is impressive. I spent several minutes looking at each page, trying to catch all of the small details. Really, it's that good.

I also partly blame The Walking Dead for the awesome dream I had the other day. The zombie apocalypse happened, and the dream followed Jill Valentine in the midst of some conspiracy, and two really annoying guys that I'd seen at George Webb's the night before somewhere else in the world. There was a quest for shotguns, and a really dismal outlook on life in general. I wasn't anywhere in the dream, though, which was weird. Dreams like that make me wish we could DVR our brains.

Someday......

Avast, Punching Bag!

Ahoy, all.

The last three weeks have been a Hellish spiral of increasing disaster, which left me shell shocked enough to swear of most of the world (and Internet) for awhile. Having pulled myself from that abyss of Whatever just in time to have the car break down at five in the morning yesterday, I can't help but to snicker a bit at Life's wicked sense of humor. Fuck you too, Fates.

Enough of that, though.

I just finished reading "Red Seas Under Red Skies," by Scott Lynch. It's a sequel to "The Lies of Locke Lamora", and it's absolutely one of the best books I've read in a long while. It's a bit Oceans Eleven meets Pirates of the Caribbean, with a little twist of Lord of the Rings thrown in. I entirely enthralled by Lynch's ability to write witty dialogue, and seriously, I'd hawk a few souls to have a similar talent. Consider that my glowing recommendation. You know, as much as anything in my world can "glow."

Speaking of talents and my world glowing, epic kudos to Jason David Frank (originally the Green Ranger from Mighty Morphin Power Rangers) for absolutely owning his first Pro MMA match against Jose Vasquez this week. Remind me never to get on his bad side. Yikes.

Pixels in Eden

"Pixels in Eden" would make the greatest band name ever, don't you think? (This is the part where I gaze off into the distance, daydreaming about a world where I'm actually able to play an instrument *wistful sigh* ).

With my Elite still out of commission, and my lack of funds for games of any kind, I've been rummaging through my dusty gaming shelves this week in search of some as-of-yet-unplayed gem. Low and behold, I've realized that I've had a copy of Final Fantasy 8 for the PS One lying around for the past six years unbeknownst to me. So, I've thrown myself into this rather pixelated, two-gens-removed era world.

I like the game so far. It's a vast improvement over FFVII graphically (no box hands!), although I really don't care for the battle system. I think they were trying for "robust" but what we actually got was "cluttered". It's more complicated than it needs to be, but so far, the story is well worth any gameplay qualms. While I like the feeling of discovering an old masterpiece, I really feel like an idiot for having missed out on this for so long. Ah well. Thank the gaming gods for my PS3's backwards compatibility.

Dear Donnie

This has been a relatively morbid week (even for me). A tornado decided to mosey on through town a few weeks ago, and in the process, quite impressively trashed an old graveyard. My Dad saw fit to volunteer the lot of us for creepy cleanup. I got lots of pictures (it's okay, I'm a goth, right?). Here's two of the better ones:






Having viewed pictures taken off my phone on something other than it's horrible screen for the first time, I have to admit, it has a pretty impressive camera. Anyhoo.

Since I'm obviously a twisted human being, and a magnet for dark themes, I stumbled across this little Youtube gem. I dub it my theme song of the week. Cheers.

More Lives, Please

This refreshing period of extended silence by your not-so-dutiful Blogger will come to an end soonish. Blame feverish obsessing over E3 coverage, and obnoxious amounts of overtime. In the mean time, BEHOLD:



Damn you Nintendo, for giving me a reason to want your stupid console.

Three Clicks and Several Sequins Later...

I'd planned on blogging dutifully throughout my vacation. Obviously, that planned epic failed. Oops?

The Midwest has welcomed me back home with wonderful weather, and round two of the Sinus Infection from Hell. I'm not sure if it's the mix of meds and caffeine or what, but I am absolutely warped today (visibly exemplified by the fact that I'm wearing gray, not black. O_o) . I've also been in a strange mood all week, really. Luckily for the both of us, I've gotten past the whine-in-detail-about-everything phase in my life. In lieu of all that senseless drivel, I have song lyrics! I don't know.....they just fit somehow.

"Arriving Somewhere But Not Here"
Porcupine Tree

Never stop the car on a drive in the dark
Never look for the truth in your mother's eyes
Never trust the sound of rain upon a river
Rushing through your ears

Arriving somewhere but not here

Did you imagine the final sound as a gun?
Or the smashing windscreen of a car?
Did you ever imagine the last thing you'd hear as you're fading out was a song?

All my designs, simplified
And all of my plans, compromised
All of my dreams, sacrificed

Ever had the feeling you've been here before?
Drinking down the poison the way you were taught
Every thought from here on in your life begins
And all you knew was wrong?

Did you see the red mist block your path?
Did the scissors cut a way to your heart?
Did you feel the envy for the sons of mothers tearing you apart?

I'll Knick Your Lemons

Arrived in California yesterday. Today was spent hauling down to Anaheim for a few days of Disney doom. I won't lie to you: I might be a little buzzed on several innocent-looking alcoholic beverages.

*foggy stare*

And though I maintain my dignity and overall coherency, I think I'm just going to let the Dreaded REM have me for the rest of the night.

Here's to vacations going well. B-)

.......Doesn't Stay In Vegas

Let my geek cred never again be questioned.



Bopper for life.

Ph34r the Neon

Well, I survived.

And Hell below, there are some strange folk around here. If there is one thing that I've observed in my 14 hours or so in this neon speck of desert, is that sobriety is something of a passing joke. Hoofing around the Las Vegas Strip yesterday, I observed no less than forty mondo-sized margarita glasses, and enough beer to make me feel a little like I was back home again.

Currently (oh, another play by play blog?), I'm sitting inside of a giant black pyramid, looking upon a rather impressive expanse of desert off in the horizon. The task of wrangling up some sort of unhealthy breakfast looms pleasantly in the near future, and I daresay mischief will follow in the distant "later". If that sounds vague, blame it on an itinerary that pretty much consisted of booking the plane tickets, and getting to the airport. :)

Before I head off into the, well, sunrise, here's an abbreviated list of the cliches I've observed thus far:

(x) One poorly costumed Elvis
(x) The big collard-Hawiian shirt retard
(x) Innumerable drunks drinking in public
(x) Drag queens
(x) The, "Just one more pull of the slot machine" gambling addict.
(x) Sleazy ads....everywhere (these are hysterical, by the way).

What Happens In Vegas....

Saluations, Blogosphere.

Currently, I'm sitting in the airport terminal, awkwardly surrounded by a bunch of old dudes that look entirely too interested in the TMZ crap cycling through the TV. Despite the beautiful weather all week, Mother Nature decided to pick today to drop a thunderstorm from the sky. At best, I'm in for a less than smooth flight. At worst, I'll be sitting here awhile. I don't mind the actual flying bit of air travel, but the tedium that precedes it makes me glad that it's not something I endure frequently.

On the way here, in between my brother's suicidal driving to the general tune of, "My Life As a Redneck" I gave the last of the three experimental Mountain Dew's a try. I don't have much to say about it, other than than it's pretty much re-bottled Hawaiian Punch, only more caffeinated. 4 out of 5.

Social Dewstortion

Two more days until the Great Escape. The many hours of work in between the "then" and "now" surely will give molasses a slow run for it's money.

And I should, probably, you know, pack at some point. Heh.

But on a less grandiose topic, let us move on to part II of my experimental beverage taste test (experimental taste test....that seems like a redundant repeititon of the same thing. /nerd observation). I'ma just go right out and say that I suffered for all of you, with Mountain Dew Distortion.



That's not just a trick of the light, by the way. It sort of does have an eerie glow to it. I couldn't help but think of that mutant juice from TMNT (Now, if I could just get Shredder's number...). By the look of it, you'd think it would have a similar taste to regular Dew. In acutality, it tastes like a badly botched bottle of Mellow Yellow with a gnarly aftertaste. The aftertaste is also accompanied by an almost alcholoic-like burn. Novel for a sip or two, then...not so much.

The redeeming qualities of this bastard soda are few, but of particular note is that coveted "kick" of Dew. Perhaps it's appearance lends itself to the Placebo effect, but I felt noticably less dead whence the bottle was empty.

The verdict?

You're better off with real Mellow Yellow, but it's drinkable. 2 out of 5.

Caffeinated Lab Rat

Holy crap, it's Monday again. My vacation is this close *indicates a minuscule amount of space between two fingers*. I'm making a valiant effort to stuff the growing excitement into an apathetic box, but I won't lie, I'm failing horribly. At least I'm not grinning like an idiot, so there's something to be thankful for.

Speaking of the day, in lieu of the (almost) usual top 5 list, I've devised a small three-part installment about the new experimental Mountain Dew flavors that have been ushered down the consumer pipeline recently. If you're curious, the inspiration came from this:



His reaction to the Final Fantasy XIII "Elixir" drink is priceless.

The first of the flavors that I gave a go was Mountain Dew White Out.

(Craptastic Picture)

If it looks like somebody dumped a solid cup of sugar into carbonated water, it's because they probably did. That's exactly what it tastes like. It also has the familiar vibe of the white part of a Bomb Pop. I.....think I like it? For it's dangerously sugar-packed appearance though, it doesn't have the kick of regular Dew. I don't know about you, but I cherish that queasy hyperactivity. Low energy yield aside, this is a nice departure from the norm, though I doubt it'll be on the shelves for long. I give it a 4 out of 5.

I'll be sampling the other two flavors (Distortion and Typhoon) over the next couple of days, so you can wait on baited breath for that. Or you could just head out and try them yourself, but I make no guarantees about the safety of your taste buds. My last experimental taste-test was Red Bull Cola, and it took weeks to get that horrid aftertaste out of my mouth. O_o

Until then, Internet.

Sacre....blonde?!??

I'm not quite sure when exactly it happened, but somewhere in the course of the last two or three weeks, I think I can reasonably say that I lost the last of my marbles (They were black, of course. So very easy to lose in my generally colorless environment.) My spontaneous ideas have become rather detrimentally Mad Hatter-ish. The Scheme of the Week this time involved me bleaching my hair as a sort of melodramatic overcompensation for managing to rip out my eyebrow piercing on Thursday.

I'll spare you the long rant on that last bit. *sigh*

Thankfully, the hair turned out quite well. I look less the weather-worn midwesterner at the very least, but none of you really care about that. That's probably for the best.

And lookie, it's Monday. It's time for another Top Five list. This week it's my Top Five Reasons Why I Hate the Wii (the Yes, I Judge You Edition):

1.) No HD: Seriously, in this generation of digital media (on the whole, not just in regards to gaming) high definition is and should standard. The Wii is fantastic if you want to play it on your shoddy CRT, but plunk it down in someone's home theatre setup that sports an Xbox 360 or a PS3, and the difference will be painful.

2.) It's white: Okay, this is just a personal preference, and I know I could just buy a damn skin for it. Still, ew.

3.) Marketing: Nintendo, when did your demographic turn into tweens and the elderly? I don't care how great your Mario game is when all I can see are fat kids doing jumping jacks, and nursing home "Wii Sessions".

4.) Games: I'm a semi-hardcore gamer than enjoys the casual game or two. That said, I can only think of about five games that I'd want on the Wii, and they don't include a balance board. Nintendo has some incredible franchises, but they get lost amidst the mounds of make-a-quick-buck shovelware.

5.) Motion controls: I hate them. I feel ridiculous waving around a plastic stick. In all fairness, this no longer applies solely to the Wii. I'm equally as put off by the Playstation Move, and only slightly less so by Natal.

/hate

Run Away?

I saw the Runaways movie last night. It was better than I thought it would be, and Kristin Stewart did a far better job as Joan Jett than I would have ever thought possible (I'll spare you the Twilight rant).

I've but one deep-hitting take away from the movie: Don't be the sister.

Heh.

Penned Obsolescence

Look at me, a day late and a dollar short. Again.

Not much to share today. I've been overly thought-ridden this week, and the inner muse seems to be creaking into gear.Who knows? Maybe I'll be able to churn out some written material of the non-blog variety, if such a thing is even comprehensible anymore. I also the urge to have an antique typewriter and swathes of candles all over my desk. Heh.

I'll work on that last bit after my vacation, I think.

A belated (if not slightly underwhelming) top five list of: My Favorite Fonts (the, "How Times New Roman can suck it" edition)

1.) Verdana: It's just a nifty looking font to read, and it's the default setting at fanficiton.net.

2.) GFY OTEP: It's the font that the band Otep created. Since most of you don't know what that would look like, you can see it here. I just think it looks gnarly and badass, though I don't think I'll be using it for any cover letters anytime soon.

3.) Arial: Microsoft's answer to Helvetica, I think. If "zen" could be encompassed in a font, this would be it.

4.) AngryBlue: It's another one that you probably haven't heard of. I really wish my handwriting looked like the all CAPS version of this. (See it here.)

5.) Perpetua: It's cool like Papyrus, but without shadow of having been used in pretty much every tacky manner possible.

Don't think I was just grasping at straws for list ideas, by the way. Fonts happen to be something I'm oddly passionate about. I suppose as the literal written word becomes something of a novelty, and calligraphy spirals into ancient history, fonts remain as a reminder that the English language can have character beyond content. (Insert long drabble about art and it's various forms here. Include snobby glances and untenable jargon.)

Before I bid you all farewell, here's a Youtube video that I've had on replay for a good hour today. Don't ask me why, I know it's weird. O_o

Into the Sunset

Breezing over my assuredly unmissed absence from the blogging world this week, I have news! Or at very least, a bit of information to indulgently throw at an uncaring world, whatev.

After copious amounts of procrastinating and wheedling for the time off, I have finally secured my Great Escape (the week and a half edition) in May. I may have gotten a little out of hand with it, but details on that will follow when my apathetic face is properly restored.

Bwahahahahahahaa....

Red Sam

MY TAXES ARE DONE!!!!!

*epic sigh of relief*

With the exception of wrestling numbers, today was mostly one of those gloriously lazy, introspective days.....at least until a few hours ago (see below). Apparently, it's also Easter, unless half of my Facebook friends are trying to deceive me.

My big project of the day-aside from said number wrestling-was hauling in every dusty, over sized speaker I could find, and hooking them up to the sound system in a quest for Epic Sound. I succeeded, and probably managed to create one hell of a fire hazard in the process. Six foot tall Heil loudspeakers really weren't designed to be my iDoom's sound bitch, but hey, go big or go home, right?

And the comma police are so going to come for me....

(Ha. Their theme song could totally be, "Kharma Police". O_o)

Just for kicks, here are some pictures of what went into my little project:

(x2)

(x2)

(overkill)

For what it's worth (the next half hour, it would seem), have a pleasant commercialized-for-the-candy-business Easter, everyone. :)

For The Win

I beat Final Fantasy XIII mere moments ago, and it was epic. Not QUITE as epic as X, but a glorious addition to the franchise as a whole. Also, thank you Square, for letting me suffer through several long stretches of potential death without giving me the chance to save.

*breathes*

So there's that. Now I'm off to play it again. :)

A Taste All It's Own

It's a sad world that we live in when news of Ricky Martin announcing that he's gay (there's surprise all over my face, really) bumped news of the Moscow bombings off of Yahoo's front page. I've never really understood the media's fixation with the personal lives of celebrities, but that's really a bit of a low, isn't it?

Oh, hello Blogposphere.

My OCD's been in full swing over the last couple of days, which has lead to the genesis of about fifteen different projects. As of this moment, all of two are completed, and I'm pondering several more. Most of them involve the frantic rearranging of Stuff, and none include the doing of my taxes. Thankfully, I've managed to avoid the wretched pull of the light switches so far. Seriously, if you've never had an obsessive tick, you cannot possibly understand the Abyss of Wasted Time that such a seemingly benign little object can be.

Anyway.......before this post goes too far off the deep end of pointless ranting, we'll move right into this week's top five list. This week it's my Top Five Soda's of All Time:

1.) Classic Coke: I live in a family that pretty much worships Coca-Cola. A slightly disturbing fact from my youth: the She-Beast would drink NOTHING but Classic Coke for years. This includes non-carbonated beverages and the like. Really, it's the best beverage ever, for so many reasons. This hallowed beverage goes with anything, but it's best on it's own, poured in a glass with a heaping of ice.

2.) Cherry Coke Zero: It's the first (and only) zero calorie drink-aside from water-that I've found to my liking. It tastes....close to the real thing, but strangely better. This is a beverage best consumed on it's own, without the interruption of food.

3.) Mountain Dew: It's a pity this is a Pepsi product, but as far as citrusy-green beverages go, this is the reigning champ. It's also perfect for long gaming marathons and the having of most any munchie.

4.) Dr. Pepper: Makes the world taste better? I think so. Best had with beef sticks or chicken tenders.

5.) Mellow Yellow: Originally a something of a prototype for Surge (a nostalgic runner-up for this list), this was Coke's answer to Mountain Dew until the creation of Full Throttle years later. Though not available nationwide anymore, it's a gem that I can (thankfully) still get ahold of here in the midwest. It's best consumed with a Hershey's Almond bar.

I was going to end this post with a Youtube clip of a Coke commercial, but there are simply too may to choose from. Ah well.

The Modern Stone Age

Recently, I've realized that The Future and all it's wondrously digital miracles are not as glossy as they seem. Of particular guilt, is that of digital music downloads.

I've a pretty vast CD collection (the physical, disc-based kind, not the term for music albums), and I had all but reconciled myself to their eventual demise. Surely, with all these newfangled online services like Amazon, iTunes and BitTorrent, physical media must be on it's way to fossilization?

Nay.

I confess that I lack the technical prowess to delve into a detailed and credible rant, but I have found that the physical CD just sounds better. With that thought in mind, I researched a bit (some of this I knew already): iTunes MP3s are, by default, sold at the quality of 128 kbps, the premium iTunes Plus service will bump that up and match Amazon.com's default of 256 kbps. However, neither of these compare to the "lossless" format found on a physical CD. Digital solutions exist, but not in a mass-appeal fashion.

I've also realized that iTunes dumbed down my ripped CDs to the lower 128 kbps format, so if I've a mind to achieve even a remotely superior sound.....I'm going to have to rip them all again.

What does this mean to you, non existent readers?

Firstly, if you're a music lover, pay attention to what you're buying (some of us still do that.....right? Heh.) and from where. Also, the next time you come across some quaint device or relic of the Analog Age, don't be so quick to slap on that expression of Superiority. The proverbial cave man can still brawl with the best of em'.

Bland Musings

Another workweek is creeping out of the shadows, ready to steal my existence for the next four days. Woo. Hoo.

/enthusiasm

I'm thinking it's time to head back to California for awhile again. If there is anything that this dark clad antisocialite needs more than anything, it's an earnest vacation. Or a billion dollars. Whatever The Universe has to spare.

And randomly, this is good for a modest laugh. You're welcome.

Shrooms n' Corn Pops

Determined to break the long spell of solitude that's consumed my free time, I ventured out into the world this after noon to see Alice in Wonderland. I really can't overstate how much it blew my expectations out of the water. It was just.....perfect. It was worth it just to hear the phrase, "I need a pig here!" uttered.

Ironically, it was not the movie itself that stole the show, but rather a trailer that aired beforehand:



I was still cackling a solid forty minutes later. :)

And lookie, it's Monday. I'm cheating a bit with my top five list, because I'm a lazy bastard today. So here's the first five songs that came up on my iDoom when put on shuffle:

1.) "Power Rangers Techno Theme" (Bwahahhaaha!)

2.) "Etude No. 2 (Superveille)" Philip Glass (I don't know where this came from, and wow......strange. In a Chocobo-theme-gone-wrong sort of way.)

3.) "Saturnine" The Gathering (Cool band, cool song)

4.) "Fresh Air" David Lyndon Huff (Some freebie from an Amazon.com sampler. A mellow piano piece that actually sounds pretty good.)

5.) "El Callejón Del Infierno" Mago De Oz (A Mexican metal symphonic metal band. Weird, but awesome.)

I was sorely tempted to post the five that came after that; they were much cooler. *smirk*

Now I'm off to (hopefully) complete the last of Final Fantasy XIII. Who knows, maybe then I'll actually get around to posting more than once a week.

Maybe.

DON'T PANIC.

It looks like we might potentially have a serious offer forthcoming on The Compound (excuse me for a moment, I'm chucking a bucket of salt over my shoulder). This has caused a mild panic amongst The Parental Units, for it seems that after three years of having the house on the market, the idea of actually moving is a horrifying and daunting task that we are entirely unprepared for. Where to, how far, and how much are circling through the brain, and made even more complicated by the presence of two unruly dogs, and five precocious felines.

Worse, the awkward moment of, "You know I'm getting my own place after this, right?" just came to pass.

Heh.

For the time being, I'm pretending the last ten minutes didn't happen, and instead am occupying myself with the online sale of a vast treasure trove of geekdom from my dungeon. I also took the liberty of burning several years worth of pre-blog diaries that have been lurking ominously in the closet, waiting for some blackmailer to get their vile claws on. It felt good to watch so many bad memories go up in smoke in such a literal way. One by one, I cut the ties that bind me to the sinking ship. Here's hoping that if I manage to get free, I don't go and drown. Cause' that just wouldn't be clever.

Before this post gets too long (and it's already straying into the realms of soapbox melodrama), it's Monday. Thus, I get to provide the hollow Internet with yet another top five list. Things have been a little too geeky around here lately, so this week we depart from the norm with:

The Top Five Places I Want To Visit (the I'm-Not-Thinking-About-Moving-In-Five Ways Edition)

1.) New York City, Broadway: Though I've seen Wicked in San Francisco, I REALLY want to see the way it's meant to be seen. It seems to surprise people, but I really dig musicals, and there is hardly a better place on Earth than NYC.

2.) The Cairo Museum, Egypt: I love Egyptian mythology, and this is the place to see it (other than the Smithsonian, admittedly). Lots of incredible things to see here, though I'll probably never get to it, what with all that Middle Eastern warring going on. Yikes.

3.) Disney World, Florida: Don't judge me. It's a completely dark and gothic thing to do. Hrmph.

4.) Tokyo, Japan: Mostly I've this inane curiosity to see what the future looks like through the eyes of truly crazy people. Don't believe me, just look at their glam-metal. O_o

5.) Comic Con, San Diego: Okay, I know I said I was venturing away from geeky things, but this is the holy grail of pretty much all that I hold dear. That, and E3, but you know, good luck getting into that.

Previously on this list was Los Angeles, California, but congratulations to me for getting there last year.

I feel like I'm missing some sort of summarizing wit to close out this post with. To hell with it then....../end

Peanuts Presents....

I think my attempt at a clever title epic failed. Hmmm.

Anyway, Happy Birthday to the She-Beast, (or, what I like to call the Half-Century Special). In lieu of the presents I can't afford at the moment, I decided to do the uncomfortably girly thing, and bake. This happened:




I must admit, I had some maniacal visions of morbid-looking pastries and lethal looking eatables, but that required far, far too much effort. And hey, not too bad for having been five in the morning, eh?

Eh.

Drunk n' Fog

While I wait for my PS3 controller to finish charging (again), I thought I'd take the opportunity to inform you all (because you care, don't you?) that Final Fantasy XIII is very close to kicking X out of it's "Favorite Final Fantasy of All Time" spot. It's incredible. Of course, it had better be. I endured a forty-five minute drive in dense fog, and a group of drunken perverts to get my nerdy claws on a copy.

And boy, what a tale that is.

But I'll get to that some other day. For now, it's back to gaming with the sincere hope that my PS3 doesn't melt from the twenty hours that I've had it on today......

Someday the Dream Will End...

We have arrived at the eve of Final Fantasy XIII.

Are you ready?!?!?

This is a momentous occasion, and I have been looking forward to it since I heard the first whisperings of it back when X-2 was released. Yes, I remember seeing a very early screenshot of Lightening in an issue of Gamepro magazine, and hardly imagining how they could be working so far ahead. I probably still have that somewhere, actually.......

So, because it's both a Monday and the eve of either the best or worst Final Fantasy game ever, I've dedicated this week's top five list to my favorite things about Final Fantasy:

1.) The Music: Originally, this list was going to be about my favorite songs in the series, but they were almost all from Final Fantasy X. Often, I've listened to it and mourned the fact that most people will never appreciate it because of the "game" music aspect. Simply put, Final Fantasy music is beautiful, and always a great compliment to Square's storytelling. Bonus factioid: "To Zanarkand" is my favorite song in the entire series.

2.) Dramatic stories: This is perhaps a point of contention for some gamers. Personally, I *like* that Final Fantasy games lay on the melodrama and story with little abandon. I like to think of each game like a sweeping symphony. The only thing I would like to see eventually, is perhaps a little more mature content. I'm not asking for Mass Effect sex scenes, thank you, but characters could, you know....bleed?

3.) Chocobos: Having been raised on a chicken farm, it's kind of obligatory. Don't ask me why.

4.) Intertwining threads: You can be pretty much assured that Final Fantasy games will encompass -in some fashion or another- airships, Chocobos, Moogles, Cid, Ethers/Guardians, and an Ultima boss. This is what makes Final Fantasy a series, and is what didn't make "The Spirits Within" a Final Fantasy movie. Incidentaly, I've never beaten an Ultima boss. <=Life goal.

5.) Bahamut: He's just badass.

That's a somewhat generalized list, though if I don't paint in broad strokes, I end up in fits of maniacal obsession (I could have gone on for pages, if I'd gone for the "favorite songs" list). Agree? Disagree? Debate amongst yourselves, nonexistent readers. I'll just be off rewatching old cutscenes while I wait for midnight.

Epic Fail

A worldwide PS3 error bricked my system yesterday. So, as of right now, I'm two consoles in the hole (at least until Sony gets a fix out).



While I'm mulling over that with generous amounts of bitter disdain, I've another top 5 list. Because that's just how cool I am.

Top 5 Games of All Time (the Annoyed At Sony Edition)

1.) Borderlands: This is the first FPS that I've not just thoroughly enjoyed, but I'm good at it. The story is a little on the sketchy side, but gameplay is fun, and Claptraps make me think of Wall-E as a teenager. (I want one!)

2.) Mass Effect 2: It's predecessor would have been on this list until the release of this here gem. The game is a spectacular improvement in every way, and it looks unbelievable in 1080p.

3.) Final Fantasy X: Sprinkled with liberal amounts of nostalgia, I'll admit, this game has an incredible story. It was the first Final Fantasy game I'd ever played, and it's what I bought my PS2 for after I'd given it a go at my cousin's house. CGI scenes still stand up, but in game graphics are a little painful to look at now. I also loved this game despite the wretched Cloister of Trials. Mention of the crazy awesome soundtrack is also obligatory.

4.) Xenosaga III: For so many reasons, I love this game. It's the best in the trilogy, though if you can't stomach the first two games....don't bother here. You will not understand a thing. The ridiculously convoluted story and hours worth of cutscenes are the icing on the cake for me, but not so much with 99% of the rest of the gaming population.

5.) Ceasar's Palace: It's an old school Super Nintendo casino game. Er, it's mostly just a nostalgic OCD thing on my part.

It's getting harder and harder to narrow down gaming favorites, what with all the incredible games that have been coming out. Also, because I have to end this on an equally bitter note as what I started it with, this PS3 error is killing developer consoles too.

Game over?

Maturity Happens

So, I said I'd post a picture of all my MMPR loot when it arrived. I got carried away (as usual):



Recently acquired, and soon to be relieved of all collectable value. Nothing this cool can remained unopened in my presence.




The new Bandai Dinozord next to his recently aquired "vintage" 1993 Dragonzord brother.



Said 1993 Dragonzord next to 1994 Ninjazord (my first!). Incidently, I could have a new EliteBox if I hadn't opened the latter. Totally worth it. B-)



The Green Ranger says, "They don't make em' like me anymore."




Gratuitious Zedd picture. He's laughing maniacally from behind all that plastic, I'm sure of it.

Wasn't That An Incubus Song?

Wasted a ton of gas today, driving nowhere and totally unable to bring myself to go home. It wasn't until I was about three and a half CDs into the Evanescence discography that I finally found myself turning into the driveway. Ironically, the last tune was "Farther Away."

Funny how life works some times.

Nostalgic Evil

Aloha, from the Isle of Bitter Cold, home to beer wielding rednecks and overzealous Packer fans.

The wretched workweek has ended, and in true avoid-real-life-at-all-costs fashion, I have immersed myself in the most hallowed of all of my obsessions:

Mighty Morphin Power Rangers.

Oh yes, before there was Batman, or Buffy, or Star Trek, there were five color-coordinated teens, and the coolest under-clothed superbaddie ever. Sure, the show was full of vaguely sexist cheese, and enough recycled footage from Japan to make Godzilla giddy, but it was a thing of glory to an eight-year old me. Of course, here we are: I'm twenty-three, and the series is recycling far more than old Japanese footage these days....but I digress.

I found out on Thursday that Bandai has released new versions of the old MMPR (from hence, the acronym to be used as I laze my life away) merchandise, and today I found myself at Wal-Mart in an aisleful of glorious, glorious nostalgia. I admit, even I felt a little foolish as I gawped longingly at the somewhat cheaply made Dinozord (which I ended up ordering online. *cough* ), and brooded deeply over the authenticity of "zords" that were most definitely never a part of the show. I bought much, to my wallet's dismay, and made it even worse by coming home to Ebay, where I promptly bought an original 1993 Dragonzord from someone decidedly less clingy to the fantasy realm than I.

Because I know you all care deeply, I'll post a picture of the loot when it's all been collected. B-)

In celebration of this great achievement in my Life As A Nerd, I've assembled a a list of my top five superbaddies of all time:

1.) Lord Zedd (MMPR). He was a childhood idol of mine. A do-no gooder that just looks really awesome. He was probably my first real influence in dry humor and darkness. Unless we're counting Oscar the Grouch, and we're not.

2.) Darth Vader. It's really kind of obligatory; you don't reference "superbaddies" in a list and not include everyone's favorite assisted-breathing father. Explanations are superfluous in the wake of someone with that much cultural significance.

3.) The Joker. As a kid, I thought he was a clever little bastard. As an adult, and post "The Killing Joke", I think of him as a truly sick, depraved being, dressed in colorful irony. Perhaps one of the most dangerous villains on my list, and at the very least, the most intellectually intriguing.

4.) Sephiroth. A quiet, unintentionally gothic figure. He's got the full force of Square's ability to wax melodramatic behind him, and also, I want his hair. O_o

5.) Angelus. While perhaps theoretically on par with The Joker in malevolence, such was never fully realized due to the television medium, and that getting-a-soul snag. Still, a great baddie in the Buffyverse, and even more so in a few choice episodes of Angel.

So there you have it, The Five (there's a television reference here somewhere, but it escapes me). I'm thinking of doing a top five list of some sort every Monday, just for the Hell of it. We'll see how long that idea lasts until my ADD erases it utterly.

Until next time, folks.

Revenge of the Synapse

Thursday morning brought forth one of the more peculiar dreams I've had in awhile. If it weren't blanketed in such an initial layer of nerd, I'd almost call it beautiful, if not a bit morbid and sad.

It goes:

I'm looking at an amusement part, set in the first "map" of the original Roller Coaster Tycoon, if not more expansive than what it is in the actual game. My view is omniscient, like I were actually playing said actual game. It is a thriving park, crammed full of intricate coasters, and merry little virtual people. Music is playing, laughter is heard.

Then, quite suddenly, the part is empty and silent. For some reason or another (initial blanket of nerd, remember), I realize that I haven't hired any mechanics, so I do. He heads to a particular wooden coaster, repairs it, and disappears.

Suddenly, I'm standing (looking at myself in third person, but I'm only seven or eight years old) in a very real looking park, at dusk. It looks like it has been abandoned for decades. Rust, cracked pavement, and rotting wood loom over the expanse. A cold wind picks up. It feels obvious that everyone has died, and I'm the only one left.

The view switches to first, and eerily, a coaster car rolls up to the dilapidated station of the "real" coaster that the mechanic fixed. I get in, filled with a sense of purpose. Suddenly, the park is alive again, and full of laughing people. I know it isn't real, and I feel the car move. A sad voice (mine?) begins to say, "And all alone, she took one last ride, and she would be with them again."

As the last of it utters, the view flashes back to the dead park, where the coaster is reaching it's highest point, where upon the track abruptly ends. The car speeds up, and I smile as I feel the car launch into the open air.

Then I wake up.

Three things struck me about this:

1.) I almost never dream in first person.

2.) Likewise for being a little girl again.

3.) First dream I've ever died in.

It wasn't a nightmare, really, but it was fucking creepy. Psychoanalysts, have at it.

Bleak House

Look at me, coining a British TV show that no one's ever heard of. So clever.

I've finally emerged from three full days of playing Mass Effect 2. It's pretty much my favorite game ever, though it seems like I say that with every new game release lately. A good sign? I think so. Now I can begin pining over Final Fantasy XII in earnest. O_o

An earlier discussion with The Beast put me in a bit of a mood, and if there was ever anything to perfectly emote for me, this Youtube video is it:



An old favorite of mine, to be sure, but it never fails to disappoint.

You're welcome.

Seventh Circle of HTML

A new blog layout???

What!???!

After a whopping five and a half years of accidentally deleted tables, and a non-existent "older posts" button, I've finally decided to take a bold step forward. Keep the baby, change the bathwater, that sort of thing.

....I never really liked that metaphor, to be honest.

The ordeal was solid proof of how resistant I am to change. "But the font is different!" wailed I to, well, myself. I hemmed and hawed over whether or not I could stomach the difference for nearly an hour. The crickets in my head gave no sign of sympathy, and with much effort, I finally managed to move beyond this critical detail. Arial is a soothing salve, but I am stuck with a Times New Roman header, and positively gargantuan post titles.

Yes, I nitpick that much.

Things feel more aligned now-like an exercise in digital fung shui. Perhaps this whole experience was a metaphor in and of itself for things to come in the months following this disasterous January. Not quite what I had in mind in my birthday blog, but I suppose it'll do.

Oh.

And Mass Effect 2 is only two days away.

TWO. DAYS.

Start hoarding the Mountain Dew now, because social lives are about to end en masse.

Cup o' Downward Spiral?

The ship is finally falling apart and sinking., despite my best efforts.

I also got burned pretty badly by one of the few people I still let into my small world. While I nurse my broken pride, and try to figure out where I go from here, tell me.....

Johnny Depp totally looks like Madonna right here, doesn't he?

I See Dead People

Oh cold and dreary morning, how I covet the short time we spend together when I return from the grindstone.

Work was an interesting bore, if that oxymoron doesn't kick you too hard in the head. I spent a good deal of it lost deeply in thought over the most ridiculous things. Morbid ridiculous things at that. I pondered for a solid hour over whether or not The Future Us would see ads for Corona Cremation Services in our brain emitters while we sauntered on our way.

And then I couldn't stop picturing that scene in Battlestar Galactica where Kara stumbles upon her own dead corpse, but set to the music of that really awesome Hungarian Halo: ODST video .

Then my focus turned for a long while onto that other scene from T2 where Sarah Connor is going all "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" in front of the chainlink fence at the playground, before she gets slowly incinerated by the nukes dropped by Skynet. Seriously, those were some cool ass effects. Just sayin'.

It went on like that. For hours.

Something about those strobe lights at work just do something to my brain, I tell you......

Syllables!

I felt like writing Haiku today. This happened:

"The Nerd's Lament"

A day of cleaning-
in between World of Warcraft
Winter really sucks.

I'd Start a Resolution....

What up, 2010?

2009, it was nice while it lasted. We had such.....erm...eventful times together, shuffling along the track of the working class. You saw me hightail it to California. I saw you incrementally steal a little more of my youth. We both laughed a bit at Wall Street. We were good together, you and I.

But I've found this brand new year, yet untainted by the follies of humanity. So we'll call it a day, and I'll be on my not-so-merry way. If it makes you feel any better, you didn't suck as much as 2008.

.....Breakups are a bitch, aren't they? (I don't think confetti is usually involved. Hm.)

So, it's obligatory: someone has to comment that the numbers on the calender have changed, and overhyped "fresh starts" are profoundly in vogue. I suppose that might as well be me.

I'm not really the type to make goals, or put up lofty little bars with which to judge my quality of existence over a set period of time. New Year's resolutions are the nastiest of this breed, dooming many with pristine intentions to feelings of failure and inferiority down the road. That is not to say that goals are worthless, but slapping them down just for the sake of doing so is about as useless as my EliteBox's optical drive.

O_O Ahem. Sorry. Bitter moment. Moving on.

I suppose I mean to infer that if someone is looking to improve upon their life, than perhaps setting reachable bars throughout the year would be a better alternative to cramming them all in the month of January. Fat bastards, don't tell yourself that by 2011, you're going to miraculously cram yourself into your high school jeans, all thanks to your shiny new boot camp fitness routine that starts balls out, RIGHT NOW, and some half-baked diet program that allows for little more than water and processed cardboard. All that will get you is a few embarrassing weeks (days?) at the gym, and possibly a trip to the hospital later on. Instead, smaller goals (tedious little buggers though they be) like: January: The switch to skim, and far away parking. Febuary: Vegetables. They happen. March: The search for an active hobby. And so on, and so forth.

You get the idea.

And don't ask me why I singled out "Fat Bastards" for this blog post. It just happened.

Of course, it should hardly take the change of a year to incite change in your own life. 2010 is not up to the task of solving everyone's problems. Pick a goal or whatever because you want to, not because the drunkard next to you is throwing out ridiculous ideas for their idyllic new year. And if you want nothing of the kind, that's great too. You can have a seat in my boat. We have plenty of Coke here. Fittingly, the speakers currently are blaring Aimee Allen's "I'd Start a Revolution (If I Could Get Up in the Morning).

So here's to 2010.