Three Clicks and Several Sequins Later...

I'd planned on blogging dutifully throughout my vacation. Obviously, that planned epic failed. Oops?

The Midwest has welcomed me back home with wonderful weather, and round two of the Sinus Infection from Hell. I'm not sure if it's the mix of meds and caffeine or what, but I am absolutely warped today (visibly exemplified by the fact that I'm wearing gray, not black. O_o) . I've also been in a strange mood all week, really. Luckily for the both of us, I've gotten past the whine-in-detail-about-everything phase in my life. In lieu of all that senseless drivel, I have song lyrics! I don't know.....they just fit somehow.

"Arriving Somewhere But Not Here"
Porcupine Tree

Never stop the car on a drive in the dark
Never look for the truth in your mother's eyes
Never trust the sound of rain upon a river
Rushing through your ears

Arriving somewhere but not here

Did you imagine the final sound as a gun?
Or the smashing windscreen of a car?
Did you ever imagine the last thing you'd hear as you're fading out was a song?

All my designs, simplified
And all of my plans, compromised
All of my dreams, sacrificed

Ever had the feeling you've been here before?
Drinking down the poison the way you were taught
Every thought from here on in your life begins
And all you knew was wrong?

Did you see the red mist block your path?
Did the scissors cut a way to your heart?
Did you feel the envy for the sons of mothers tearing you apart?

I'll Knick Your Lemons

Arrived in California yesterday. Today was spent hauling down to Anaheim for a few days of Disney doom. I won't lie to you: I might be a little buzzed on several innocent-looking alcoholic beverages.

*foggy stare*

And though I maintain my dignity and overall coherency, I think I'm just going to let the Dreaded REM have me for the rest of the night.

Here's to vacations going well. B-)

.......Doesn't Stay In Vegas

Let my geek cred never again be questioned.



Bopper for life.

Ph34r the Neon

Well, I survived.

And Hell below, there are some strange folk around here. If there is one thing that I've observed in my 14 hours or so in this neon speck of desert, is that sobriety is something of a passing joke. Hoofing around the Las Vegas Strip yesterday, I observed no less than forty mondo-sized margarita glasses, and enough beer to make me feel a little like I was back home again.

Currently (oh, another play by play blog?), I'm sitting inside of a giant black pyramid, looking upon a rather impressive expanse of desert off in the horizon. The task of wrangling up some sort of unhealthy breakfast looms pleasantly in the near future, and I daresay mischief will follow in the distant "later". If that sounds vague, blame it on an itinerary that pretty much consisted of booking the plane tickets, and getting to the airport. :)

Before I head off into the, well, sunrise, here's an abbreviated list of the cliches I've observed thus far:

(x) One poorly costumed Elvis
(x) The big collard-Hawiian shirt retard
(x) Innumerable drunks drinking in public
(x) Drag queens
(x) The, "Just one more pull of the slot machine" gambling addict.
(x) Sleazy ads....everywhere (these are hysterical, by the way).

What Happens In Vegas....

Saluations, Blogosphere.

Currently, I'm sitting in the airport terminal, awkwardly surrounded by a bunch of old dudes that look entirely too interested in the TMZ crap cycling through the TV. Despite the beautiful weather all week, Mother Nature decided to pick today to drop a thunderstorm from the sky. At best, I'm in for a less than smooth flight. At worst, I'll be sitting here awhile. I don't mind the actual flying bit of air travel, but the tedium that precedes it makes me glad that it's not something I endure frequently.

On the way here, in between my brother's suicidal driving to the general tune of, "My Life As a Redneck" I gave the last of the three experimental Mountain Dew's a try. I don't have much to say about it, other than than it's pretty much re-bottled Hawaiian Punch, only more caffeinated. 4 out of 5.

Social Dewstortion

Two more days until the Great Escape. The many hours of work in between the "then" and "now" surely will give molasses a slow run for it's money.

And I should, probably, you know, pack at some point. Heh.

But on a less grandiose topic, let us move on to part II of my experimental beverage taste test (experimental taste test....that seems like a redundant repeititon of the same thing. /nerd observation). I'ma just go right out and say that I suffered for all of you, with Mountain Dew Distortion.



That's not just a trick of the light, by the way. It sort of does have an eerie glow to it. I couldn't help but think of that mutant juice from TMNT (Now, if I could just get Shredder's number...). By the look of it, you'd think it would have a similar taste to regular Dew. In acutality, it tastes like a badly botched bottle of Mellow Yellow with a gnarly aftertaste. The aftertaste is also accompanied by an almost alcholoic-like burn. Novel for a sip or two, then...not so much.

The redeeming qualities of this bastard soda are few, but of particular note is that coveted "kick" of Dew. Perhaps it's appearance lends itself to the Placebo effect, but I felt noticably less dead whence the bottle was empty.

The verdict?

You're better off with real Mellow Yellow, but it's drinkable. 2 out of 5.

Caffeinated Lab Rat

Holy crap, it's Monday again. My vacation is this close *indicates a minuscule amount of space between two fingers*. I'm making a valiant effort to stuff the growing excitement into an apathetic box, but I won't lie, I'm failing horribly. At least I'm not grinning like an idiot, so there's something to be thankful for.

Speaking of the day, in lieu of the (almost) usual top 5 list, I've devised a small three-part installment about the new experimental Mountain Dew flavors that have been ushered down the consumer pipeline recently. If you're curious, the inspiration came from this:



His reaction to the Final Fantasy XIII "Elixir" drink is priceless.

The first of the flavors that I gave a go was Mountain Dew White Out.

(Craptastic Picture)

If it looks like somebody dumped a solid cup of sugar into carbonated water, it's because they probably did. That's exactly what it tastes like. It also has the familiar vibe of the white part of a Bomb Pop. I.....think I like it? For it's dangerously sugar-packed appearance though, it doesn't have the kick of regular Dew. I don't know about you, but I cherish that queasy hyperactivity. Low energy yield aside, this is a nice departure from the norm, though I doubt it'll be on the shelves for long. I give it a 4 out of 5.

I'll be sampling the other two flavors (Distortion and Typhoon) over the next couple of days, so you can wait on baited breath for that. Or you could just head out and try them yourself, but I make no guarantees about the safety of your taste buds. My last experimental taste-test was Red Bull Cola, and it took weeks to get that horrid aftertaste out of my mouth. O_o

Until then, Internet.