Behold.
INTERNETLESS BLOG CHRONICLES III
Just for the sake of mentioning it, some things were originally in bold, or italics. Unfortunately, my computer/Internet is being an ass and I can't post it like that here at the moment. Oh well.
March 30th, 2005
Wednesday 2 p.m.ish
Just one more day in Hell
I tried to repress the urge to start another IBC, I really did. But six days without the Internet have left me even more of a raving lunatic than usual.
Yes, ladies and gentleman, my Intnernet is down again.
The Parental Units neglected to pay the bill again. Actually, if what I'm hearing is correct, it seems they haven't paid it at all. I can't say that I blame the company for shutting down Internet service that hasn't been paid for in four months. Heheh. I can't blame them, but I'll be damned (though aren't I already?) if I can't be pissed. Everytime the Internet goes down I'm further reminded of my ever deepening addiction to the online world. Last time it took me the better part of a month before every ounce of my being was consumed with the desire to go online. This time, it took me the better part of oh, five hours.
I've been told to get a life. My answer: I have one. It's online.
So to wax poetic, it's like the very threads of my existance have been ripped from me, and now I'm left with a tattered bit of scrap to cling to. Well, I suppose "cling" isn't really the right word. To stare at in blatant hatred and indignance seems more appropriate.
There is, perhaps, a beckon of hope for my beloved Internet however. I've managed to get hired in these past few days...at McDonald's. Heheheheh. It wasn't my first choice, I assure you. But when one is desperate for money and the Internet, one must deal with the horrendous fact that they are now doomed to a life ugly colored uniforms and hats all the while they come to a point of the realization of their potential: flipping burgers.
Maslow would be proud. So very, very proud.
Heh.
5:30 p.m.
It happens to be spring break. At least, that's what I'm told. This supposed "break" has been hardly the vacation those bastards on TV seem to make it. Cause I gotta say, I'm not on some ridiculously expensive resort beach in the bahamas, nor am I having a great time getting drunk with idiotic friends (though these previous two really aren't particularly appealing to me anyway), and I'm certainly not having what would be my personal idea of a spring break: a week and a half of uninterrupted Internet time.
Not being sick would also be a plus.
It's rather ironic actually. The day just before spring break started, I got rather sick. Funny how things go wrong in my dark little world, isn't it?
April 1st, 2005
Friday 9:25 p.m.
Never main, always kill
The library is a glorious thing. It truly is.
Today was a day to relish in the brief satisfaction of my ever deepening Internet addiction at the library. Two hours of blissful lurking online. I even managed to blog briefly. Of course, this will be my main blog until my own Internet is brought forth once more. It does however, prolong the arduous withdrawl process. Not that it would ever really end, but it's like putting salt on the wound.
The inner massochist in me postiviely squeals in delight.
On the more damning side of things, I managed to get a job, as I mentioned somewhat briefly in my regular blog post today. While I relish the opportunity to actually bring in a bit of money and be able to pay to get the Internet back, I am most certainly not looking forward to being surrounded people in addition to those at school. It's moments like these when I truly realize how far gone I am in terms of sociability. As The Brat told me (much to my vague amusement) that I give off the distinct impression of "While I'm being civil, I am absolutely seething in hatred of being here and having to talk to you in the first place." Heheheheh. Nice that I haven't lost my edge. That isn't, of course, to imply that I am shy. I am perfectly capable of social interaction. I do manage to find it quite funny when people assume that just because you rarely talk, it means that if you do, you'll be so scared you'll talk hardly above an inconfident whisper. No, I much prefer to talk at normal volume. After all, if I'm going to unnerve someone with my blatant coldness and overly eloquent speech, they need to be able to hear me.
It's only difficult to speak up when I actually have to force myself to portay any semblance of....cheerfulness.
While I can do it, it's the most repulsive thing in the world. It's like trying to break your very being apart with a sledgehammer. I must tell you, it's also quite an odd thing to see if you know me normally. I had to do this for my job interview the other day and there are people from school who work there. So aside from seeing me in jeans and a regular t-shirt (black, but no rude saying or anything. Just "Badlands South Dakota"), they were witness to me plastering on a fake grin and putting animation in my usually monotone voice. Ugh. Now admittedly, I suppose, I don't always speak in a monotone. Just when I'm not talking to family members as it usually results in endless beratements and questions of whether or not I should be allowed online because of it. It makes utterly no sense, but one must go with the proverbial flow of things in this ever downward spiral.
Boredom is beginning to consume me. As my computer is pretty much shot to shit at the moment (the only thing that actually works properly is Wordpad and my DivX player), I'm confined to the things I had before we had the computer. A couple of years ago, I would have been able to keep myself duly occupied for at least a month or so with TV and books, but I am hardly interested anymore. It seems my old hardcore TV addiction has become disgracefully rusty. I've even to finish watching the last couple eps on my Dark Angel Season Two and Buffy Season Six DVDS. I saw the epsiodes when they aired of course, but to watch them on DVD is a matter of principle. Well, for those of us who are horrendously consumed with OCD, which I happen to be.
A funny thing OCD. Who needs voices in their head when some invisible force in your mind pulls the strings for you? Don't feel like flipping the lightswitch four times and then glancing out the window twice before repeating the whole process over again? Too bad. Do it anyway. Don't feel like getting up to wash your hands for the eleventh time in the last five minutes? Fine. But every second you delay, your hands will feel more and more like they're being stuck with thousands of pins and needles. And oh, if someone has the audacity to lean on a pillow in your room, or lean on your bed and you don't feel like scrambling downstairs to shove them in the washing machine? Yeah. Just try and sleep with the word "folicles" repeating over and over and over again in your head.
I could go on, but I think I've prattled on long enough about my insanity for one evening.
April 2nd, 2005
Saturday 9:08 p.m.
Walk into sterile environments and then sneeze, it's fun.
I made brownies today, and like most things in this world, it didn't go well.
First of all, baking and cooking in general, aren't really my forte. However, the need for something of the sugared variety called to me, and low and behold there was a box of the Betty Crocker junk sitting on the counter. Heh. Diabetes happens to run in my family. Such cravings are forshadowings to the further demise of my health.
Eh.
Second, the ingredients were kind of half assed. Presently, there aren't the usual things lying about in the kitchen. So I just threw a bit of kinda iffy tap water in there along with some oil I found (though I don't think it was the vegetable oil the box said), and the eggs....well........were a bit past the experation date but as they looked pretty normal, in they went. All this turned into a nutty congomeration (the nuts were in there already...ugh...damned nuts) unto which even rats would be wary of biting into. When they came out of the oven they were all well and fine. It was just when they cooled.....
That they turned into something harder than cement.
Hehehehh. But that's quite enough about baking, I daresay. I fill my blog with enough meaningless things to go so horrifically overboard in the Terrors of the Kitchen stories.
Tomorrow I'm supposed to go to this concert thing in town. I must confess I was practically gaping when I learned that something was actually going to happen in my town. I swear it must be a first. I'm not really all gung ho about going, but briberies by The Brat and promises of relatively good music followed by additional briberies and groveling from The Brat hath convinced me to venture forth from my darkened sanctuary unto which my very existence is centered.
Okay, even I admit that was a little too dramatic. But anyway....
I'm told that I shouldn't wear the Crow makeup thing. (It really looks nothing like the Crow's makeup, but it's something along the lines of excessive black eyeliner artfully placed) The Brat seems to think I'll be made fun of. Upon hearing this, I had to smirk. It's precisely that reason why I find even those who seem relatively dark in personality to be utterly fake. (I'd use the word "poser" but I'm becoming sick of it). So what if people feel the need to rag on you for your choice in style? Even if it is rather eccentric, if it is what you are confortable in, why change your appearance to please others?
Job interviews don't count. Dunno why...they just don't.
I'm not sure if I was trying to make a point in that little impromptu speech. If I was, in my exhaustion, I lost where I was going with it. Eh. Must be those damned brownies. I swear, I really must start blogging about more interesting things before I really do bore myself to death....
April 25th, 2005
Monday 11:23 p.m.
Padded cells look best when covered in blood
I've skipped yet another day of school today.
Actually, I've got a nice little record going: four weeks straight of missing Mondays. I really shouldn't be doing this, with graduation looming around ever so tauntingly. While I don't lack in credits, there are a couple that I need to get out of scholarly hell. Eh. In time, I suppose.
Besides, what's the point if I don't have the Internet?
It's a standoff of sorts. The Internet bill has been paid, and now I must wait for them to turn it back on. I've been told it's going to take about a week for my glorious Internet connection to be back up. That was last Tuesday I think. So now I sit here, ever mindful of my obbession, waiting.....watching. It's only a matter of time. Hopefully anyway. Perhaps I'll have The Beast give them a call to find out what the holdup is. Yes...Internet...It. Will. Be. Mine.
But anyway.
In preperation of the new Star Wars movie coming out soon, I've decided to rewatch the first two Episodes of the new trilogy. Now of course, I'm on a complete Star Wars binge (Admittedly, because I'm terribly overcompensating for my lack of Internet). This morning I watched Episode 1: The Phantom Menace. A great movie, even if they weren't going to make more. Episode II, however, isn't really on my "Holy Shit, That's a Fucking Awesome Movie" list. No, I found Hayden Christensen to be a little to whiney for my personal tastes. Though I do think he'll do much better in the new one. MUAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA..
Darth Vader kicks ass.
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